vavoom!!

Aziraphale does NOT feel that. He can’t.

This moment is completely and utterly devastating for Zira. He finds out he’s not damned and sure, he’s relieved. But he’s no longer “an Angel” in the way that he’s learned is right. He’s now unchangeably and forever; less holy—a concept that is dearly important to his identity. “[Going] along with heaven as far as he can” is a FAILING on his part. Not heaven’s(at least to him). There is no solace or comfort—he finds existence like that—just the two of them—achingly LONELY. And that’s just how his perspective demands to be taken. It’s the only perspective he is capable of in that moment AND after it, too.

Take into account Crowley has went from having no one AT ALL to having SOMEONE. And he puts EVERYTHING he has into it. This is not good. It’s unfair to Aziraphale. And it’s unfair to himself. On the opposite side, you have Aziraphale. Who has just went from having the ENTIRE HEAVENLY HOST, to having this SINGLE demon— who, one minute ago, Aziraphale thought would be dragging him off to hell.

And the part that aches is that this perspective hasn’t changed. Aziraphale feels like his existence is lacking because he wants so badly to be GOOD. And good is Holy. Good is heavenly. He’s the problem for having morals that are misaligned.

Spoilers for the last episode:

Aziraphale has just been given the validation that he is not only GOOD but the most HEAVENLY Angel there is, the Supreme Archangel, even. And if heavens morals are now HIS morals, then that’s EVERY PROBLEM SOLVED. With a bow even, because Crowley’s basically on heavens side anyway, he’s GOOD, isn’t he? He’s been good this whole time, so why wouldn’t heaven want him back? Reinstating him as Angel would fix everything. They can be together, and they can be good, and they can be HOLY. All Aziraphale’s conflicting emotions about loving Crowley can be packed away because Crowley will be perfect again—and surely Crowley wants to be perfect—wants to be forgiven.(sorry everyone, that hurt me too, oof) Aziraphale is SHOCKED by Crowley’s refusal. He’s devastated that his version of perfect is treated as something naive and distasteful.

Crowley’s devastated too. He’s just lost “their side”. A concept that for 5000+ years has been THE ONLY THING he puts love into besides his car and perhaps his plants(And humanity, but he’ll never admit to that—I’m looking at the “No more dying” scene). Crowley is constantly being devastated by Aziraphale. He’s “too fast”, he’s too evil, he’s too good sometimes. Crowley has always been TOO MUCH. But this is different because for four years, he’s had “them”(on their own side) without the hiding, and without the denial and without Aziraphale constantly putting former jobs between them. PLUS he has a mountain of trauma centered around the concept of “forgiveness”, so that’s not great considering Aziraphale’s last words to him(THAT HE HASNT SAID ALL SEASON EVEN WHEN HE MADE CROWLEY APOLOGIZE IN THE FIRST EPISODE, AHHHHH). He’s losing everything and he’s desperate: Why isn’t he enough, hasn’t he been enough these last 4 years? Hasn’t HE been enough the last 6000?

Aziraphale has always been enough for Crowley. But being enough for Crowley doesn’t fix how Aziraphale has never been enough for himself, not since Job. He looks at this offer as a chance for HIM to be enough, and for Crowley to be FORGIVEN. Crowley looks at it as a betrayal because it’s Aziraphale saying Crowley ISNT enough, and he NEVER has been.

But that’s not what Aziraphale is saying. He’s saying, “Let me fix it for you”. Crowley is hearing, “Let me fix you for it.” Two completely different and completely horrifying concepts.

And then Crowley needs to say HIS piece(oh my gosh, btw, this was heartbreaking).

“Let’s be together on our terms” is basically what I’ve distilled it down to. But Aziraphale hears, “Let’s run away from our problems”

Aziraphale doesn’t want to run away, and Crowley doesn’t want to change who he is.

They both want to be together so badly but they don’t understand why they each want it so differently. And Aziraphale can’t compromise because he’s brainwashed and LOATHES himself. And Crowley can’t compromise because he’s traumatized and LOVES Aziraphale just as he is. Crowley doesn’t want to be good on heavens terms. He can see Heaven for what it is; “toxic”. He hates heaven not only for what the Host did to him, but for HOW THEY TREATED Aziraphale.

Crowley thinking that all it takes to make people fall in love is "standing under a shelter in a sudden rainfall" I AM DYING THAT IS LITERALLY THEF IRST THING WE SAW IN SEASON ONE

and then following that up with "get two humans wet and have them stare into each others eyes for a bit and BOOM" I laughed so hard

did we get Crowley's angel name?? idk i missed it but my partner thinks we did??? I just have to wait and see I guess

did Aziraphale and/or Crowley perform "a miracle that only an archangel would be capable of" or did Gabriel do something somehow

I felt so bad for Gabriel when Crowley made him remember and he was like "i can't hold thoughts like that in my head. not anymore" poor BABY

i'm glad we still get to see asshole Gabriel tho

there were flies buzzing in the bookshop the whole time? idk if it was just foreshadowing Beelzebub's appearance but hmmmm

I'm... not sold on Shelley Conn. I'm glad she's not just doing an impression of Anna Maxwell Martin but Beelzebub seemed a bit... i don't know, bland? we'll see, they were only in one scene anyway. I think that's literally my only negative thought haha.

Everything about angel Crowley was just so AAAAAAAAAAAAA

He was so innocent and naive and excited and adorable and I love him SO MUCH

Also THE CRANK tying back to him using the Bentley's crank to face off against Satan

Also that scene was really pretty I was worried about seeing TV budget CGI on the big screen but it looked great.

Everything about Jane Austen as Crowley knew her

"she had balls!"

I was slow to catch it but the book Gabriel read that started with "in the beginning" was that Good Omens??

Gabriel waving a discworld book around

I adore Maggie I love her so much with all my heart

"The car." "What car?" "Our car." kfhaklsngfkiadsngf;adjng;

Also the fucking implication that Aziraphale considers Crowley joint owner of the bookshop aljfbasjlbfasjklnfkladnflaksfnlak like he might only be saying it to manipulate Crowley but he still SAYS IT and this is AZIRAPHALE that MEANS SO MUCH

Aziraphale insisting on doing a driving test before driving tests were a thing i LOVE HIM

The way Aziraphale leaned against Crowley when asking him to get him a sherry.

Aziraphale miracling a table free then acting all surprised when the people sitting there leave the bitch energy is strong this season

Also a lot of "we"s getting thrown around I'm so fucking here for it.

"I haven't paid the rent in months" "Well I suppose that's my fault for not collecting it"

Jemima daughter of Job YOU HAVE MY WHOLE ENTIRE HEART I LOVE YOU

Also Ty Tennant was fantastic

Ennon fucking stroking Aziraphale

Aziraphale's FACE when he realised Crowley had turned the goats into birds the SMUGNESS

The entire scene where Aziraphale thought he had fallen my heart was trying so hard to burst out my chest

About as hard as Crowley tried not to laugh when Aziraphale said "I'm a demon" lmao

"You said it wasn't lonely" "i'm a demon. I lied" MY HEART

The whole entire "i'm on my own side" "you're on your own side" "you're like me" UGH JOHN FINNEMORE I GIVE YOU MY FIRST BORN

speaking OF. the childbirth scene. the theatrics. I was laughing so fucking hard the whole way through.

A few visibly disabled angels in the background which is cool but also SARAQAEL FUCKING MANIFESTING A RAMP IN THE BOOKSHOP it just felt so sassy but like of course the bookshop isn't accessible Aziraphale doesn't want people in there

"alphabetical order by author?" "what's an author? no, alphabetical order by the first letter of the first sentence" "but, but nobody will be able to find- ah yes, very well, carry on." lmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaao

the "i'm back" "i can see that" scene being EVEN MORE OVER THE TOP i didn't think that was POSSIBLE

the fukcing apology dance

Aziraphale had to do an apology dance in 1941????

Aziraphale listing all the times he did the apology dance is literally set-up for SO MUCH 5+1 fanfics

Aziraphale appearing through a weird crystal portal thing to thwart Crowley, seeing who it was and stepping out, then going back to it to start his whole speech again like even when Aziraphale is following the party line, it's all still a performance.

from the gasp when Gabriel turned around towards the crowd, he either has one hell of an effort happening, or something completely unexpected going on down there.

Job's wife referring to god as "them" singular they in 2500BC fucking SUCK IT

Muriel is adorable and I can't wait to see more of them

Muriel's outfit is one of my favourite costumes EVER the way the tails at the back of their coat are layered??? pleated??? idk i love it i can't wait to get a better look at it when i can pause to see

i loved the effect they did with the notes piling up around Nina when Lindsay's texts were coming in - this show has a lot of people in common behinds the scenes with Sherlock and it shows but in a good way.

Aziraphale knows Nina has a partner but she's trying to set her up with Maggie anyway so he doesn't get in trouble lmaaaaaaaao Aziraphale you bitch. We know Nina's relationship is bad but he doesn't.

Crowley tempting Aziraphale to try human food for the first time

Crowley drinking while watching Aziraphale eat for the first time

The "let me tempt you" thing from Rome is even better now holy shit

Nina and Maggie constantly seeing Crowley do weird shit this is literally outsider POV fanfiction

the PARALLELS between Nina and Maggie and Crowley and Aziraphale but especially Nina offering Maggie a drink and Maggie declining bc she doesn't like the test compared to Crowley offering Aziraphale wine and Aziraphale declining because alcohol is the root of all evil or whatever I-

i was worried about how the minisodes would be integrated into the episodes but i really like the jumping over and back between time periods they're doing, or at least did in ep 2.

the first scene transition in the flashback after Crowley triggers Gabriel's memory was accompanied by the sound of a page turning, i really liked that

i've heard the season 1 opening theme AT LEAST 150 times and it was really weird after that hearing the theme with the new sound effects added in.

Aziraphale stands really fucking close to Crowley all the damn time

Aziraphale popping up behind the car with the record he is SO CUTE

the whole "we carved it out for ourselves" argument is so good holy fuck "i was hoping you would help me take care of him" like they're raising a child or a puppy or something it's so different from their S1 arguments this time it's Aziraphale pushing and Crowley walking away but Crowley. Really doesn't want to walk away. He clearly fucking wants Aziraphale to beg him to stay the way he himself would. and then instead Aziraphale says "i would love for you to help me" LOVE. LOOOOOOOOVE. UGH.

Crowley walking into the bookshop and immediately jamming his glasses onto the horse like that's his routine now.

"you call me for three reasons. you're bored. you've done something really clever and you're going to burst if you don't tell somebody about it. or there's something wrong."