jar of mayo

Germany: Hey we made this new country it's called Deutschland. And we call our language Deutch.

English people: That's nice. We'll call you Germany, and we'll call your language German.

The Netherlands: Hey, we made a country too. It's called Nederland, and out language is called Nederlands. Makes sense, right?

English people: Guess so. We'll keep the name Nederland cuz we're nice, but we'll just change it to Netherland because we prefer that, is that okay?

The Netherlands: Sure, if you like

English people: And we'll also make it plural, as in The Netherlands.

The Netherlands: ...okay, if you say so

English people: And we'll call it "Holland" half the time.

The Netherlands: If you insist, it's your language

English people: Now for your language, what should we call that? We could call it Netherlandish, which follows our rules and sounds like your word for the language...

The Netherlands: What an excellent idea

English people: ...or we could call it "Dutch", that's not taken, right?

Germany: ...are you fucking serious?