PoP Characters as John Mulaney Quotes
Greta: I thought I was going to be murdered my entire childhood.
Elián: When I'm walking down the street, no one's ever like, "Hey, look at that man." I think they're just like, "Whoah, that tall child looks terrible! Get some rest, tall child!"
Da-Xia: I have had a very long day. I am very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.
Grego: Here's how easy it was to get away with bank robbery in the 30s: as long as you weren't there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.
Han: I woke up one morning when I was a kid and my mom was standing over my bed. And she said, "I just heard that Princess Diana and her lover Dodi Al-Fayed have been killed in Paris." like I had something to do with it! I was like, "Mom, I've been here all night. You can feel the TV, it's warm." Luckily I had a good alibi since I was in Wisconsin and 12.
Thandi: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
Atta: I don't know what my body is for other than just taking my head from room to room.
Ambrose: I try to stay optimistic, even though I must admit, things are getting pretty sticky.
Sri: Well...you know how I'm filled with rage? I'm so horny and angry all the time...and I have no outlet for it.
FX: I'll keep all of my emotions right here, and then one day I'll die.
Rachel: All my money is in a savings account. FX has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.
Michael: Someone came out of one of the rooms at this party holding an old antique bottle with some liquid in it and they said "Hey, is this whiskey or perfume?" And apparently I grabbed it, drank all of it, and said "It's perfume." And it was.
Two: I show him a tiny room that is covered wall to wall with stolen antique photos from different people's parties over the years. And he said "Why? Why do you do this?" And I said, "Because it's the one thing you can't replace."
Tanim: I'm very gay, I'd like a few dollars.
Evie: Something happened here. You hope it was a miracle, but probably not.
Az: In terms of instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin.