Incorrect Ouran High School Host Club Quotes!

Kyouya: Club mail call! Gather ‘round, everyone! All right, one for club president. Tamaki: That’s me! Kyouya: Well, that’s it. Hikaru: One stinkin’ letter? Kaoru: Why’d you make us gather 'round like that? Kyouya: I needed my power fix.

Haruhi: You’re not exactly the king of mature relationships, Tamaki: Fair enough. But I would argue that I’m like a beautiful angel of love, who has trouble finding love for himself. Admit that you would see that movie. Haruhi: I would. Tamaki: Thank you for your honesty. 

Kyouya: Kids can be so cruel. Hikaru: *walking past* We can? Thanks, Mom.

Tamaki: I suppose I’m just too tough to cry. Haruhi: Just today you were crying about snakes. Tamaki: They don’t have any arms!

Ranka: [regarding Tamaki] Is that a friend, Haruhi? Haruhi: In the loose sense of the word, sure. Ranka: …It’s okay to have standards, you know. Haruhi: Not at this school.

Haruhi: So who’s the older twin? Kaoru: We’re twins, it doesn’t matter. Hikaru: Me.

Newspaper Club President Akira Komatsuzawa: Darn it, I’m a terrible journalist. Kaoru: Whoa, hey. No you’re not. Hikaru: You’re just a terrible person.

Kaoru: Woah, what’s with the cast? Kyoua: I sprained my wrist. …Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist? Hikaru: Yes. Kyouya: I was hula hooping. Hitachiins: … Kyouya: My sister has me attend a class with her for fun. Hitachiins: Oh my God. Kyouya: I’ve mastered all the moves. *pulls out his phone and starts showing them pictures* The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle. Kaoru: *amazed and delighted* Why are you telling us this? Kyouya: *deleting the pictures* Because no one will ever believe you. Hikaru: You sick bastard.

Tamaki: In 20 years, I guarantee you, I will be Haruhi’s second husband. Haruhi: What happened to my first husband? Tamaki: Nothing you can prove.

Hikaru & Kaoru: Really? This is your very first party ever? Haruhi: Do funerals count?

Haruhi: Wait… did you just flirt with me? Tamaki: Have been for the past year but thanks for noticing.

Kyouya: Tamaki, is this the way you pictured married life? Tamaki: Yeah, pretty much. ‘Cept we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

Tamaki: (regarding coins) What are these curious circles? Kaoru: They have little faces on them, how quaint. Hikaru: Poor people eat these? Tamaki: *bites a coin* Disgusting! Jeeves, take it away!

Hikaru: We are both interested in taking you to the Valentine’s dance, but we are also brothers. Kaoru: It is of utmost importance we protect that brotherhood from the stresses of courting you, so we’re trying to be as direct and above-board about this as possible. Both: Will you go to the dance with one of us, and if so, which one? Haruhi: Okay, we need to get something straight first. This is the cutest thing that’s ever happened to me. 

Kaoru: Your grin was at least an 8.3 on the international scale of creepy. Kyouya: *forcing a painful-looking smile* I was just flexing my face. Gotta make sure my muscles are ready in case I’m ever happy again. Hikaru: 9.4

Tamaki: Haruhi, you’re like an angel with no wings. Haruhi: So, like a person?

Haruhi: Everyone in this Host Club is being so obnoxious to me! Kyouya: Join the club. Haruhi: Why, will that help? Kyouya: What? No, I meant… Kyouya: Like, join the club of being… of being annoyed by…  Kyouya: No, joining the Host Club will not help, no.