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Linda: I don’t dress to impress. I dress to depress. I wanna look so good people hate themselves.

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Myfanwy: My worst trauma is when Linda tried to murder me during a tornado.
Linda: Okay, I didn’t try to murder you.
Linda: I just didn’t save you.
Ingrid: I love your friendship, guys!
Linda: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
Myfanwy, angrily: Can I say a bad word?
Linda: Um…
Myfanwy: CAN I SAY A BAD WORD?
Linda: I mean…
Myfanwy: [turning to Gestalt] YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH
Myfanwy: I’m… grounded?
Henry: Yes, you’re grounded!
Linda: You disobeyed an order!
Henry, holding a shovel: And now, we’re gonna bury you until you’ve learned your lesson!
Linda: Henry, that’s not how grounding works.

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Ingrid: A friend came looking for you.
Myfanwy: A friend?
Ingrid: …an enemy.
Myfanwy: Oh! Which one?
Gestalt: Aren’t you sugar and spice and everything nice.
Myfanwy: Well, aren’t you rudeness and sarcasm and everything… uh…
Gestalt: No, go on. You find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense, and I’ll take the fall tonight.
Myfanwy: Aren’t you supposed to tell me I have a lot left to live for?
Linda: I would, but your life seems incredibly bleak.
Grantchester: Why don’t you stay down and die with dignity?
Myfanwy: I don’t do anything with dignity!
Linda: There’s nothing worse than people using big words they don’t understand just to seem smart.
Myfanwy: I photosynthesize with this.

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Myfanwy: There’s a big hole in your house.
Gestalt: There’s a big hole in your face.
Myfanwy: There’s a big hole in your heart…
Myfanwy: Hey, Gestalt… Why do you do this game? What’s it all for?
Gestalt: In a word?
Gestalt: Chaos.
Myfanwy: Well, has Henry been wrong before?
Linda: How wide are we willing to open this up?
Myfanwy: You could pour soup in my lap and I'd probably apologize to you.
Myfanwy: When straight people assume I’m one of them I feel like a gay secret agent.
Monica: Lesbionage.
Gestalt: Bi Spy.
Monica: It’s an Ace Case.
Gestalt: Pan with a Plan.
Monica: Secret Gaygent.

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Linda: Just be yourself, say something nice.
Gestalt: Which one? I can't do both.
Linda: Well, it looks like the knife missed your femoral artery.
Myfanwy: That’s good.
Linda: No, Myfanwy, you had a knife inside of you. That’s the opposite of good.