Incorrect Ghosts Quotes

Pete: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers! Sass: Please, just say fuck.

Alberta: I have seen a lot of murders in my time, and all six of them were today.

Hetty: Try not to roll your eyes at me. Alberta: I don't have pupils.

Isaac: Do I least have a chance to explain myself? Sam: This is America, so nope! Isaac: This isn't America, this is OHIO!

Alberta: What, in the name of sanity, have you got on your head? Isaac: It's a fez, I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool. Hetty: *snatches the fez, throws it in the air* Alberta: *shoots it*

Jay: You gave me up, you let me down, you turned around, and deserted me. Hetty: But did I make you cry? Jay: *cries on the spot* Hetty: ...Shit.

Sass: Are you busy? Sam: No. Sass: Want to do something? Sam: Why would you try to ruin this for me?

Pete, to Alberta: I'll be under the mistletoe when you start feeling desperate!

Sass: Alberta said I was their second favorite person, and I was bummed, but then they said Isaac is third. They have no favorite person. They’re holding the position open.

Sass: Today at 7 am, Jay poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Sam: I watched Jay brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm. Sass: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

Sam: So, Flower is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night. Alberta: Why? Sam: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row. Flower, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

Sam, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots. Hetty, in line behind them: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.

Sam: Your future self is talking shit about you right now. Jay: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.

Pete, near tears: Please, Jay, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

Jay: And here we see Flower and Pete in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh. Flower: Gaelic bread. Pete: Grueling brad. Flower: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

Pete: Sam has never seen Star Wars? Jay, the only people in the universe who haven’t seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars and that’s cause they lived them, Jay! That’s cause they lived the Star Wars!