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Merry Crisis

Lambert

#The Witcher #The Witcher 3 #The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt #Lambert

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Ciri: So what is your dream?

Geralt: Wet.

Vesemir: Total understanding between people.

Dandelion: To be rich, famous, happy and popular.

Yennefer: To remain the divine, lush creature that I am.

#submission #the witcher #Geralt #Geralt of Rivia #Yennefer #Yennefer of Vengerberg #Dandelion #Jaskier #ciri #vesemir #The Witcher 3 #The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

Zoltan: Seems your doppler friend is in a lot of trouble.

Geralt: Yeah I guess you could say he’s in some deep Dudu.

#submission #the witcher #Geralt #Geralt of Rivia #The Witcher 3 #The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt #Lambert #zoltan chivay #original by submitter #submitter deactivated their account before i could post this because i use a queue #i'm sorry

Keira: Remember that time I took you to the airport in my pyjamas?

Lambert: You have an airport in your pyjamas?

#submission #the witcher #the witcher 3 #The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt #Keira Metz #Lambert #Original quote by Colin Bateman

The Terry Pratchett quote is from Sourcery -🌚

Thank you moon emoji anon!

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Eredin: Quick, you must come with me, you're in great danger!

Ciri: Why?

Eredin: Because I'll kill you if you don't.

#submission #the witcher #eredin #eredin breacc glas #ciri #original quote by Terry Pratchett #moon emoji anon tell me where this is from #i've been wanting to start reading Terry Prattchett's books

I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos.

Lambert, probably.

#submission #the witcher #original quote by George Carlin #Lambert #nsfw text

Regis: I've finally quit drinking for good.

Regis: Now I drink for evil.

#submission #the witcher #the witcher 3 #the witcher 3: blood and wine #blood and wine #emiel regis #Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy #source: reddit #probably

Dijkstra: I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

#submission #the witcher #the witcher 3 #The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt #dijkstra #Original quote by Steven Wright

He has been known by many names: Lucifer, Beelzabub, Belial, The Prince of Lies, Satan, and at a party once an obnoxious drunk kept calling him 'Dude'

Dettlaff, about young Regis. Probably.

#the witcher #The Witcher 3 #The Witcher 3: Blood and Wine #Blood and Wine #Dettlaff #dettlaff van der eretein #emiel regis #Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy #Original quote by Gary Larsson #submission #this makes me think of another fandom of mine #thank you moon emoji anon

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Geralt: Sometimes I feel like a boat on a winding river, twisting toward an endless black sea. Further and further from where I want to be, WHO I want to be...

Angoulême: Did you know if you soak a raising in grape juice it turns into a grape?

#Regis:That's because it's not true it's a ROCK FACT #the witcher #hansa #the hansa #Geralt's Hansa #Geralt #geralt of rivia #angoulême #source: over the garden wall #incorrect quotes #incorrect the witcher quotes

Geralt: Alright, Nilfgaardian, I don't like you and you don't like me.

Cahir: I like you!

Geralt: Uh, all right.

Geralt: You like me, but I don't like you.

Cahir: Maybe you'd like me if you knew me.

#the witcher #the witcher books #hansa #Geralt's Hansa #Geralt #Geralt of Rivia #cahir #Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach #source: the simpsons #incorrect quotes #incorrect the witcher quotes

Cahir: *to Milva* Guess where I'm from.

Cahir: *to Dandelion* Guess where I'm from.

Cahir: *to Geralt* Guess where I'm from.

Cahir: Not from Nilfgaard!

#the witcher #the witcher books #the hansa #Geralt's Hansa #cahir #Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach #milva #Maria Barring #dandelion #Jaskier #Geralt #Geralt of Rivia #source: vine #incorrect quotes #incorrect the witcher quotes

Geralt: I just saw Dandelion in the library cry for five or so minutes and then his phone alarm went off and he just? stopped crying? and went right on back to work.

Geralt: We love a man with good time management

#submission #the witcher #Geralt #Geralt of Rivia #Dandelion #Jaskier

Geralt: I’ll be fine

*3 seconds later*

Geralt: I’m not fine, it didn’t work.

#submission #the witcher #Geralt #Geralt of Rivia #Source: Parks and Recreation

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Geralt: God would kill me first. He would never let me be happy.

Eskel: I thought you didn’t believe in God.

Geralt: I do for the bad things.

#submission #the witcher #Geralt #Geralt of Rivia #Eskel #source: seinfeld

Geralt: All I really wanted was a mom and dad – to hold me, and stroke my hair, and tell me they loved me.

Triss: Then today’s your lucky day, because I happen to be a holding, stroking, lovin’ machine. Also spankin’.

Geralt: That isn’t even close to what I had in mind.

#submission #the witcher #Geralt #Geralt of Rivia #Triss #Triss Merigold

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