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Carol is literally always injecting Zosia with random substances and blowing her up with explosives. Tom & Jerry type relationship

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Carol: We can work on some of the ideas I've been suggesting.

Zosia: Those aren't ideas so much as they are random acts of violence.

Carol, after the Joining: I did that adult thing you can do where you buy an entire cake and just eat it. I’m eating an entire cake.

[later]

Carol: Update - there is more cake than I imagined.

[even later]

Carol: I see now why Helen didn’t let me do this.

Helen: Carol is my wife and I love her, no matter how many times I’m charged as an accessory.

#sturstead

Carol: Ugh, I hate everything.

Zosia: Well, according to this drawing I drew of us smiling and holding hands, that isn't true.

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Zosia: This cake is good!

Carol: Zosia, that's a sponge.

Helen: I would do anything for you, babe.

Carol: Tell me my hair is better than yours.

Helen: I would do almost anything for you, babe.

#sturstead

Carol: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

Carol: *bites her nails*

Helen: *takes her hand and kisses her fingertips to make her stop*

Carol:

Carol: *starts to bite her lips*

Carol: My wife is out of town, so dinner is either cheese or spend $87 on DoorDash.

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Carol: Alright, let me hit you with a little analogy. Are you familiar with race cars?

Zosia: Formula 1 or stock?

Carol:

Carol: That’s already way more than I know about it.

Helen: Do you want to know your gay name?

Carol: My gay name?

Helen: Yeah, it's your first name.

Carol: Ha, ha. Very funny-

Helen, getting down on one knee: And my last name.

Carol: Oh, my god.

Carol, sexting Zosia: i'm so wet rn <3

Zosia: There are towels in the bathroom

#stursia

Young Carol: Apparently the job interviewer doesn't like it when your biggest weakness is 'beautiful Latinas.'

Zosia: What do I get out of this?

Carol: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.

Zosia: Ooh, check, check, and check. Not sure about that last one.

Carol: It won’t be you.

Zosia: I’ll get my coat!

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Zosia: I like eating Nerds because I’m secretly hungry for aquarium gravel and this takes the edge off.

Zosia: Why are we at a sleepover?

Carol: This isn’t a sleepover, you’re in the hospital.

Zosia: Then why are you here?

Carol: I’m waiting for your doctor.

Zosia: Why do I have this nightgown on then?

Carol: That’s a hospital gown.

Zosia: Truth or dare?

Carol:

Zosia:

Carol: Dare.

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