My Thoughts. My Words.

.

In my house

I now sit

alone

a place that

once was

our home

you promised

together

forever

but now

it’s just

never

as you’ve

left me

on my

own

Nighlty

I try to sleep

in a bed

too big

for just

me

tossing and turning

scared of what’s

now

to be my

destiny

And

I must’ve have

missed

the four horsemen

of the

apocalypse

as they

slipped

through my mind’s

door

galloping across

anxiety’s

floor

filling our

once happy

room

with dark clouds

of my lonely future’s

gloom

until nightly

they share my

bed

when I’d rather

have you

next to me

instead

Yet

you so easily say

let’s stay

friends

but surely that’s just

delaying the

end

as my anger and hate

simply waits

painfully

hesitates

Then

eventually

it has to go

somewhere

and you’ve said

for me

you no longer

care

so surely

it’s only

fair

that my hate

is a cloak

you must

wear

But

it’s not something

in which I’ll

rejoice

As

when all said & done

it was

only your

And in the midst of days mundane Beneath the slog of drenching rain Consumed by the need to provide Behold a man just stood and cried Crocodiles for things he’s missed The devil’s lips long ago kissed

Once in the colours of vivid dreams Love stories read in books, in reams Her wondrous beauty was revealed But begotten and possessions interfered

No time now for second courts All that’s left his own thoughts Shrouded by the cloak of expectation Smothered beneath life’s misconception

Buying all the lies of riches untold For their dream he sold his own All around now wolves are howling Against life’s storm he’s bent and cowering

Once his dreams were of flesh fulfilling Now the nightmares are never ending His head heavy too much learned His heart empty but oh how it yearned

chasing tomorrows

still haunted by yesterdays

and come what mays

you asked for honesty

but never believed me

searching among the stars

but all you found was my scars

always ignoring my words

that you never heard

whether said

or read

taking only the preconceptions

presumed assumptions

in your head

until I’m dead

but what use is honesty

if you want me to confirm to simplicity

denying the complexity

of my personality

you call out my duplicity

but aren’t we are all the same you see

trying to conform

to the mundane and norm

abiding by rules

made by fools

a societal morality

built on religions’ vanity

preaching their moral supremacy

but no better than you or me

and we wear the nine to five lanyards

to meet their standards

but what am I

if I don’t please your eye?

always trying superficially to conform

to the accepted norm

as daily I wrestle with myself

deceiving everyone else

but in you I believe

no need to deceive

my truth was your goal

so I opened up my soul

but I don’t think it was to your liking

maybe a little bit frightening

yet you were the one who asked

what lies at the bottom of my glass

the truth was your insistence

but now you keep your distance

I bared my all

to be at your beck and call

hoping you’d be my saviour

but it seems you didn’t like my flavour

maybe my past has a bitter taste

all those things I did in haste

but memories can’t go to waste

and my regrets

you can’t forget

but at the end of the day

you wanted the truth come what may

and though my yesterdays you can’t stand

welcome to the freak show where anything goes rock stars and pop singers football strikers and wingers earn more than small nations on roaring crowds’ expectations and warplanes are a plenty while hospital theatres lie empty not enough doctors or surgeons to perform life saving operations as we can’t afford their training yet across oceans our missiles keep raining

welcome to the freak show where anything goes desperate people set sail over stormy seas but to no avail they’re just trying to escape torture, violence and rape but first world societies stink just let their boats sink dead children float ashore but they can’t admit anymore need to keep their spoils for the rich and the royals

welcome to the freak show where anything goes where the sanctity of life is to religion sacrificed sins committed so carnal for promises eternal radicalised martyrs aren’t born just taught differing views to be scorned whether far right or far left preaching sorrow and death those who ignore their affirmations and their false proclamations have to accept eternal damnation over life’s joyous celebration

welcome to the freak show where anything goes and the clowns are at large so many in charge comb-over and perma-tanned with a slight of hand policies hit the streets by few hundred character tweets such lack of depth dread his every next breath while the bear roams where it likes via ground troops and air strikes denying it’s there at all as historic cities fall protecting the abhorrent while pretending to be ignorant

welcome to the freak show where anything goes when you’re given a choice to make them hear your voice they tell you it’s your shout whether stay in or get out but they don’t like your decision treat it with derision say you’ve been misled false facts put in your head though the decision they won’t change they’ll just the perception rearrange so though you’re out you’re still in to democracy is committed a sin

welcome to the freak show where anything goes but I’ve had enough of this circus of it’s power and money focus I’ll take myself away for certain closing its final curtain seeking instead the beauty of a different reality where thoughts are shared with those who care for peace and light not the steel grey of armalites where preaching and dogma become a misnomer where love and mutual respect bring out humanity’s best where consideration and empathy set a new view of normality

come sail with me sail life’s choppy sea sail it as my wife

we’ll sail along sailing as waves rise & fall creating our own wake

skimming over waters 
calm & stormy every day new chances to take

we’ll take on passengers 
sons & daughters all sailing life’s sea together

sailing for as long as we can 
as mother & father but no ship can sail forever

we will stop one day 
on an island remote one that we’ve created

then sit down for a while 
enjoying the calm our life’s voyage contemplated

we’ll walk the shore 
hands entwined leaving footprints in our sand

gazing over our sea 
all there to see looking back while we still can

then one day we will just dive in dive deep beneath the waves

diving deeper down below 
together forever as told neither can be saved

from the bottom we’ll glance back up to sunlight golden shafts beaming through

our tears will mix 
with salty ocean for the life that we once knew

on shore they’ll sit 
looking over our sea children together holding hands

then in crafts of their own 
they’ll sail to new islands to make footprints in their sand

until they like us dive beneath 
swirling & crashing waves too

diving deep down below 
their own ocean’s waters to join us in deep blue

……….

“evergreen”

so another season’s passed and I’ll raise my glass to now absent friends who won’t see the year’s end

the once green canopy now an autumnal cacophony a tapestry of red, gold & brown falling to decay on the ground

we take one last chance on nature’s carpet to dance kicking our way through their crispy hue

as cometh winter’s icy shards like aged oak we’ll battle hard standing tall, standing firm laid bare awaiting springs return

yet autumn’s damp grey mist shall not my lips kiss as my seasonal wish goes like this

let our love not take autumn’s path to winter’s cold and bodies old let our love until the summer last past All Hallows’ fright and dark winter nights let our love be that very dream let our love be forever evergreen

———- Image @seasonsblogdirectory

.

In my house

I now sit

alone

a place that

once was

our home

you promised

together

forever

but now

it’s just

never

as you’ve

left me

on my

own

Nighlty

I try to sleep

in a bed

too big

for just

me

tossing and turning

scared of what’s

now

to be my

destiny

And

I must’ve have

missed

the four horsemen

of the

apocalypse

as they

slipped

through my mind’s

door

galloping across

anxiety’s

floor

filling our

once happy

room

with dark clouds

of my lonely future’s

gloom

until nightly

they share my

bed

when I’d rather

have you

next to me

instead

Yet

you so easily say

let’s stay

friends

but surely that’s just

delaying the

end

as my anger and hate

simply waits

painfully

hesitates

Then

eventually

it has to go

somewhere

and you’ve said

for me

you no longer

care

so surely

it’s only

fair

that my hate

is a cloak

you must

wear

But

it’s not something

in which I’ll

rejoice

As

when all said & done

it was

only your

Halloween is coming but he’s not filled with dread as no monsters that walk the streets can out do those in his head

people will walk the footpaths dressed in fancy costumes but he’ll just dress as normal while inside he’s being consumed

he’ll hear them at his door knocking but he’ll not let them in as he is not sure they could handle the beasts that lie within

yet still they’ll keep on knocking shouting trick or treat but he dare not let them in cos he knows how they will weep

but if they keep persisting to knock upon his door he may lose his will power and walk across the floor

then come in come in he’ll say coaxing them with sweets locking the door behind them tonight they’ll be his treat

then when the night is over and coming is the morn he knows they’ll come a searching for their children that have gone

yet they will find no evidence that they were ever there the children and their costumes forever now nowhere

come the festive season in that town he will not dwell moving on to a new place to cast his evil spell

so children when you go knocking shouting trick or treat I pray you find some goodness in the people that you meet

what lives in a fancy house you can never really tell and if at first they don’t answer your knocking or ringing doorbell

my advice would be move on and let the occupants just be cos if the door eventually opens I pray it’s not him you see

never step over the threshold no matter the promises told as you never will get out again and certainly won’t grow old

“Halloween”

witches and vampires zombies and ghosts which are the ones that scare you the most when you venture out this night of Halloween you know these and more are certain to be seen definitely a Freddie from an Elm Street nightmare going to sleep and dreaming you surely won’t dare but clowns are worse like Pennywise in IT clowns to me are terrifying they’re scary as shit there’s also the crazy dolls like that nasty little Chucky I’ll pray I don’t see him and hope I stay lucky but its only young kids you say in scary costumes just tricking or treating much candy being consumed but how do you know one of them isn’t for real like Jason Voorhees axe and machete of steel so I think I’ll stay inside and lock all the doors keeping my fright night to horror movies galore at least I won’t risk some maniac costumed kid breaking into the house slashing my throat and wrists because even if I killed him smashing his head with a bat he’s certain to come back to life as they always do that then at last when I am finally tucked up in bed can I forget the flesh eaters from The Living Dead and if you still think it’s all stupid made up lies we live in a steep valley where The Hills they Have Eyes and if someone sneaks in and chokes your last breath I won’t hear your screams as I’m completely stone deaf

welcome to the freak show where anything goes rock stars and pop singers football strikers and wingers earn more than small nations on roaring crowds’ expectations and warplanes are a plenty while hospital theatres lie empty not enough doctors or surgeons to perform life saving operations as we can’t afford their training yet across oceans our missiles keep raining

welcome to the freak show where anything goes desperate people set sail over stormy seas but to no avail they’re just trying to escape torture, violence and rape but first world societies stink just let their boats sink dead children float ashore but they can’t admit anymore need to keep their spoils for the rich and the royals

welcome to the freak show where anything goes where the sanctity of life is to religion sacrificed sins committed so carnal for promises eternal radicalised martyrs aren’t born just taught differing views to be scorned whether far right or far left preaching sorrow and death those who ignore their affirmations and their false proclamations have to accept eternal damnation over life’s joyous celebration

welcome to the freak show where anything goes and the clowns are at large so many in charge comb-over and perma-tanned with a slight of hand policies hit the streets by few hundred character tweets such lack of depth dread his every next breath while the bear roams where it likes via ground troops and air strikes denying it’s there at all as historic cities fall protecting the abhorrent while pretending to be ignorant

welcome to the freak show where anything goes when you’re given a choice to make them hear your voice they tell you it’s your shout whether stay in or get out but they don’t like your decision treat it with derision say you’ve been misled false facts put in your head though the decision they won’t change they’ll just the perception rearrange so though you’re out you’re still in to democracy is committed a sin

welcome to the freak show where anything goes but I’ve had enough of this circus of it’s power and money focus I’ll take myself away for certain closing its final curtain seeking instead the beauty of a different reality where thoughts are shared with those who care for peace and light not the steel grey of armalites where preaching and dogma become a misnomer where love and mutual respect bring out humanity’s best where consideration and empathy set a new view of normality