Why is Life So Lonely?

"I should say that to Yaz."

"I should say that to Yaz."

"I should say that to Yaz."

"I should say that to Yaz."

"I should say that to Yaz."

"I should say that to Yaz."

"I should say that to Yaz."

"I should say that to Yaz."

"I should say that to Yaz."

"I should say that to Yaz."

and duke, hatchetfield native, with roots so deep he can't even fathom leaving. he loves everyone he meets and they love him back. in a town where nearly everyone is at least a little bit of an asshole (even miss holloway), duke is overwhelmingly kind and openhearted.

THE LORDS IN BLACK in Nerdy Prudes Must Die!

i (18F) am a devout christian, and have always maintained a dedication to save myself for marriage. unfortunately, i’ve recently begun having… impure thoughts… which i believe have been invoked by our school’s star football player (18M) who i’ll call J (not the Big J though!)

now, J is highly feared by a lot of kids at school. he’s very violent and frequently bullies kids he considers nerdy prudes. i overheard a group of nerds discussing wanting to get back at him, so naturally i got involved and took the lead

our plan was, we lure him to an abandoned house and jump out at him dressed as ghosts, filming it to show to the whole school how embarrassingly scared he got

of course, given how violent and aggressive he was, he opted to instead try to fight the ghosts, endangering some of the nerds. we put it to a stop and revealed ourselves before anyone could get hurt, and he was surprisingly delighted by our surprise for him

unfortunately. the floor he was standing on collapsed, sending him down three stories, wear he was impaled on wood. we rushed to him, and with his final breaths he swore revenge

now, everyone was obviously freaking out, so i decided to be the reasonable one. i told everyone we needed to get rid of the body. there was too much evidence that would suggest we lured him here with the intent to kill him, so chopping him up into pieces and hiding him beneath the floorboards seemed like the most logical solution

honestly i was really relieved he died. my impure thoughts went away after his death so clearly this was an act of god. J deserved to die or else he wouldn’t have died, simple as that

two months passed, and our school greatly improved now that J was gone. everyone got along great!

until one of the nerds who helped with the plan got killed, a note written in blood left at the crime scene. J’s last words

even worse, though, was the fact that the police discovered J’s body and an investigation had been opened up

i came up with a plan to cover our tracks by going to the police station and attempting to frame our rival town for the murder, but the police had already gained a lot of evidence that i was there at the crime scene (having found my WWJD bracelet at the scene of the crime)

i explained to the police that J’s death was an act of god, and in my rage i…….. well im very ashamed to admit this. but i called God…… a son of a b word…..

i was able to steal an officer’s gun and get away on my bicycle, but now another one of the nerds is dead and i’m very worried

but most of all i’m worried about my soul! first those horrible horrible thoughts J cursed me with, then i called God the b word! what is wrong with me!

i (18F) am a devout christian, and have always maintained a dedication to save myself for marriage. unfortunately, i’ve recently begun having… impure thoughts… which i believe have been invoked by our school’s star football player (18M) who i’ll call J (not the Big J though!)

now, J is highly feared by a lot of kids at school. he’s very violent and frequently bullies kids he considers nerdy prudes. i overheard a group of nerds discussing wanting to get back at him, so naturally i got involved and took the lead

our plan was, we lure him to an abandoned house and jump out at him dressed as ghosts, filming it to show to the whole school how embarrassingly scared he got

of course, given how violent and aggressive he was, he opted to instead try to fight the ghosts, endangering some of the nerds. we put it to a stop and revealed ourselves before anyone could get hurt, and he was surprisingly delighted by our surprise for him

unfortunately. the floor he was standing on collapsed, sending him down three stories, wear he was impaled on wood. we rushed to him, and with his final breaths he swore revenge

now, everyone was obviously freaking out, so i decided to be the reasonable one. i told everyone we needed to get rid of the body. there was too much evidence that would suggest we lured him here with the intent to kill him, so chopping him up into pieces and hiding him beneath the floorboards seemed like the most logical solution

honestly i was really relieved he died. my impure thoughts went away after his death so clearly this was an act of god. J deserved to die or else he wouldn’t have died, simple as that

two months passed, and our school greatly improved now that J was gone. everyone got along great!

until one of the nerds who helped with the plan got killed, a note written in blood left at the crime scene. J’s last words

even worse, though, was the fact that the police discovered J’s body and an investigation had been opened up

i came up with a plan to cover our tracks by going to the police station and attempting to frame our rival town for the murder, but the police had already gained a lot of evidence that i was there at the crime scene (having found my WWJD bracelet at the scene of the crime)

i explained to the police that J’s death was an act of god, and in my rage i…….. well im very ashamed to admit this. but i called God…… a son of a b word…..

i was able to steal an officer’s gun and get away on my bicycle, but now another one of the nerds is dead and i’m very worried

but most of all i’m worried about my soul! first those horrible horrible thoughts J cursed me with, then i called God the b word! what is wrong with me!

(Spoilers under cut ft the proshot cameos)