(for once sincere)

in my stupid vision for season 5 when Dean got too annoying and pissy sam would have killed himself in front of him bc he knew it wouldn’t stick (#lucifer) and when Dean realized he could do the same thing (#michael) they would spend the whole season engaging in looney toons level suicide antics to make points. really taken advantage of the whole neither of us is allowed to die thing. but nobody cares what I want or think would be funny.

it literally solves nothing but they get so used to it. dean is being a huge bitch about ruby over lunch and sam rolls his eyes and shoots himself in the middle of the diner. wakes up in the motel to dean complaining about how hard it was to steal his corpse. sam trying to explain something dean doesn’t want to hear and dean just groans and walks off the bridge they’re on. sam leans over and yells oh wow real mature. a few hours later dean’s yelling sam can you get me a rope or something and sam (mad about being stuck waiting for him to revive) yells you should have thought of that before you took the bridge route. it makes all of their problems worse and their relationship even more resentful than before but when bobby hears about it and is rightfully horrified they’re on the same side for the first time in months (defending the worst bit of all time)

xianfei castiel (able consort) mad as fuck that this louisiana vampire hussy is somehow defei (virtuous consort) which is one whole rank above him for no good reason

in terms of dean’s harem i much prefer the imperial chinese model to the ambiguously defined middle eastern imperial model because the specific harem politics differ wildly by empire and regional quirks. which is not to say that imperial china had a suuuuper consistent harem system between dynasties (not really) but if i have to try to draw analogies between supernatural and safavid persia I’ll kill myself

castiel is a sort of Qizilbash STOP. STOP

in terms of the imperial court it’s very clear that sam is the huanghou and muhou tianxia while castiel has of course fought very hard for the position of favored consort. now unfortunately at times the other favored consort position rotates and for a while benny was in position of this title but ultimately conceded to the empress, as is right and just, and right now ketch is considering entering the imperial inner palace at all as a lowly waiting lady but has been conniving his way up the ranks. all told it’s a little disgusting

the problem is that the title of the favored consort is “furen” and I don’t think castiel deserves that. if anything for a while that was Crowley. but the descending titles are such things like “lady of beauty” or “lady of gentleness” which is all horrible and not castiel at all.