flavor packed hackey sack to the face

Just read a post about funny reasons little kids have had meltdowns over silly stuff and so many of the comments were like “this isn’t funny or cute I hated reading this” and they got so intricately worded they were for real almost reading as callout posts and I’m losing it I swear so many people think kids are capable of being bad people just bc they personally cant tolerate children

Hey guys I’m in need of some advice. My 2 year old is exhibiting toxic behavior. Keeps telling me he hasn’t had any coco puffs this morning even though I KNOW i gave him coco puffs an hour ago. This level of gaslighting is getti

I literally cant hate toddlers cause I basically am one the other day I had a full meltdown cause my juice box was too frozen to drink

When I went to buy my 3DS when I was 19 I wanted one in pink but they only had purple and I was bummed and like 3 gamestop employees started consoling me and one of them said “look, see, it’s purple just like your sweater!” And I was like oh god…..am I………a toddler..

the two replies to this that say “grandma instinct” and “support caster” have directly inspired my next d&d character

I am a peddler of chubby cat pics

Pray. Show me your wares

Raccoons are the worst. You expect them to go through your stuff and steal your food while you’re camping, but they don’t stop there - half the time, they’ll be curious enough to come over and touch you. They prod your sleeping body with their horrible little people hands, run their claws through your hair, hold your fingers with their own. I’ve never been aggressively menaced by one, but they’ve slapped my ass through hammock fabric on multiple occasions and stroked my face or hands on others. I’ve played tug-of-war with large raccoons through my window when they grabbed the string to the yarn-and-cup telephone I’d set up with my neighbor.

They come into the cabins at camp every night. I’ve never had one touch any of my campers, but that’s only because I sleep with my hand curled around the handle of a broomstick and have trained myself to recognize their snuffling and scrabbling. I have leapt out of a bunk to sweep them forcefully out of the cabin in the dead of night, to sleepy tween boys whispering “Wow… you’re like a superhero…”

What if I want little hair goblins to sneak in at night and gently touch my face with their weird tiny fingers

then boy do I have the place for you

I’m sorry I’m over here laughing my ass off because someone got their ass slapped by a raccoon… oh please karma be kind, it’s just so ridiculous sounding but I know every word of it is true. XDDD

There’s nothing more disconcerting than almost drifting off in the coziness of your hammock, only for a wee little hand to pat-pat-pat right on your ass through the fabric.

Amphibian bois

A Karen joke where she’s actually called Karen :D