In the year which had passed since his fatherâs execution, Col had strictly avoided court, yet now that he was here, again, it was not the bitter pain of loss that caused the painful knot in his stomach â it was the darling boyhood memories, once beacons of cheer â that soured his heart. Â Now, it was with a pang that he remembered the mischievous boyhood days with Wills, the raucous adolence theyâd shared, and the daring youth. Â Now â it smacked of betrayal. Â
Of course, he knew the truth, too: there hadnât truly been a choice.  What his father had truly known of the conspiracy before the trial, Col could not guess, but the fact that Hugh was such an active part of a community which was actively attempting to replace the Tudor regime with a Catholic one and had gone so far as to begin feeling out the Spanish ambassador, had left Wills without much choice.  Col understood the irony, too: if the reverse situation had borne out, if Hugh had deprived Col of Wills rather than the other way around, he could not easily have forgotten that, eitherâŚbut it did not matter that that might have happened, because it had not.
It did not surprise him that his cousin Elizabeth was wary of him. Â Colâs time in the Tower of London and his trial â both for treason â were hardly endearing experiences, even if he had been ultimately acquitted. Â He wondered if a loss of trust that profound could ever be prepared. Â Was there any way to know?
Sweeping the habitual bow, Col smiled and touched her hand gently to his lips â a spiritual, if not literal, kissing of the ring in obeisance. Â Col knew his place, and he knew that now, more than ever, he must tread carefully. Â Still, he wished to regain his cousinsâ favor â was that not why he had returned?
âYour Highness, it is well to be back. Â Pray, how faired the Progress? Â Iâm sure there was much to see â did any exhibit better please Your Grace than the rest?â Â Hearing her question, he inclined his head. Â âShe does, indeed. Â I believe, even now, she is occupying our apartments â arranging all as she sees fit.â Â He grinned. Â âA circumstance which has quite exiled me from thence, for the time being: I should only get in the way. Â Perhaps I might tarry with Your Highness?â he inquired. Â âIt is, I think, a day fit for mingling and it has been some time since last we saw each other.â
He did not think that he had seen Elizabeth since before his arrest â he had been but a carefree boy, then, he knew, now. Â But who was he, now? Â Glancing away as if to dispell these thoughts, his drew his eyes to hers.
âOr perhaps I might help you settle into your apartments?â  He paused and his smile, when it arrived, was grave; sincere. âI am, as always, yours to command.â
She always had found it difficult to trust a lone soul, even the most innocent of new ladies at court were tainted by her scornful gaze. And to think that Nicholas had broken such a feeble treaty lay Elizabethâ relationship with her cousin in tatters. In truth, she could not imagine a way that sheâd allow him back into her life, that sheâd allow him back beside her brother who - as much as she wanted the crown for herself - she loved with a fierceness that resembled the type her own mother found hard to control. So when faced with him she could not help but let her brows furrow, to let her shoulders tense to a rigid angle. If he wanted softness in the form of his Princess, he would not get it - she wouldnât let it happen. So she bared her teeth and asked for honesty.Â
âIâm glad to hear that she is settling in, I do adore Helena as my father adored her grandparents. Familial bonds are hard to set aside, arenât they?â Elizabeth questioned, held high above her distant cousin as the clatter of the court remained around them in a flurry. The next eve le Chateau vert would be staged in that very room - though she had thought to take the mask of Beauty, it had been her advisors who swayed her to the mask of Bounty for her reputationâs sake. Better to seem benevolent than to be smug over one's own natural resources.Â
âIndeed progress was a spectacle, but I am glad to be back amongst the glory of Hampton Court - it is a beauty, the pride and joy of his royal Highnessâ, my late father. I mustâve inherited his love for it. Perhaps when this society favour is over I may return on my own, Iâd obviously ask for Helena to join my household. You wouldn't object, would you Nicholas?â Elizabeth asked, playing with him like a cat did a mouse. At the very notion of his charity, she shifted from foot to foot, seemingly uncomfortable with what was on offer. With the shake of her head, Elizabeth retracted her hand from his, hiding it between the various lappings of cloth. âThere will be no need, all is in order already⌠You may go, donât let me hold you.â