I live in space

Just when I was happy again. The cycle repeats

If I was gonna propose to you it would’ve been in the mountains at a secluded cabin just me and you. There would’ve been snow falling just like you always wanted. The ring would’ve been custom designed just to your liking and not a cliche diamond because you never cared much for diamonds. You’ll never know any of those things even tho I’d been planning them for 2 years now. You got engaged on Christmas Day in southern kentucky to a man that got you a cliche diamond ring. I just hope you’re actually happy this time

You say we’re best friends. You tell me all your secrets and I tell you most of mine. I don’t tell you I still love you. You find a man you love that isn’t me and you get engaged on Christmas Day. I tell you congrats even tho my heart is broken again. You told me it’d always be me and you. You told me you were still banking on our pact to get married in 7 years. I guess I was just a good fuck. Good thing I didn’t tell you I still love you. I still love you.

I’m tired of being sad. I’m so fucking tired

All I crave is intimacy. To feel close to someone again and love again. I think I’m incapable and not worthy. Idk what to do

I am so much more than tired. So much more than exhausted. I can’t put into words how much I don’t want to keep doing this. How much I want to stop existing