Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

because my struggles are practically invisible to the naked eye because I’ve been a “normal” weight my entire life. Even when I was at my lowest, I was still… average looking, because I’m taller than most of my female peers. I’ve fluctuated between losing and gaining the same 30-40 lbs since I was 16 years old.

I go through periods of absolutely not giving a shit about what goes into my body, and periods of intense obsession with my d!s0rd3r. I’m just waiting for it to fucking stick at this point, but it never does. It just comes in vicious cycles. And every time I reach out for help, it’s like the boy who cried wolf because “I’ll be fine again in a few months”.

And doctors have the audacity to go, “No way! You don’t look like you’re that weight!”… but I am that weight. And most doctors don’t even take you seriously. I’ve been told that I’m an attention seeking liar before, all because my vitals are fine and my BMI checks out.

But I’m suffering. Oh my god, I’m suffering. And no one gives a flying fuck about it because I am not petite. I am not frail and my eyes aren’t sunken in.

How loud do I have to scream before you hear me?

1. Wash your face and brush your teeth

2. Change into comfy clothes

3. Make a cup of tea

4. Sit by a window or go outside