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@imatmywormrightnow

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Sorry but it's not complete without...
Drinking soda is better than drinking nothing all day. Eating ice cream for dinner is better than eating nothing for dinner. Eating salsa is better than having no produce in your diet at all.
Water is way more hydrating than soda, but soda is more hydrating than nothing. A balanced meal is way more nutritious than ice cream, but ice cream is more nutritious than nothing.
Something is better than nothing. Some hydration is better than no hydration. Some nutrients are better than no nutrients. Some produce is better than no produce.
Don't let societally imposed food guilt trick you into believing that nothing is a better choice. Nourishing your body, however you can, is always the better choice. Fed is best. Always.
hopefully i'll get to do something other than endure soon. that would be really nice

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none of the minions can be female because nobody wants to fuck them and they cant be male because nobody wants to write fanfic of them.
what did he mean by this
a lot of people dont care about insect biomass collapse bc when they hear we are losing 2.5% of the insect biomass per year they just imagine the cockroach and housefly population decreasing by that much. they dont realize those are among the only ones that will remain unbothered
you can make a little oasis right where you are, and it matters
every year of restoring native plants I see a great increase in the insect populations, and loads of new insects i never saw before (all of them harmless--the insects that are harmful or parasitic on humans are the main ones being unaffected by the decrease in insect populations)
(a large part of) the problem is Plant Sameness. we must restore plant diversity
(me ever since I was 12) okay I actually need to get it together now
i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable
calling ppl "larpers" to insinuate theyre fake fans of smth/poorly pretending to be smth is so fucking stupid cuz. tell me u have never met a real LARPer without saying u have never met a real LARPer. those guys care. they are fucking locked in dude. like LARP is a lifestyle its a commitment they care so much. they're not fake nerds either like fake nerds just repost LOTR gifsets and talk about how nerdy they are for being into like, fucking batman and stuff. LARPers know their shit. they read the whole Silmarillion. they know who Ambush Bug is. like get LARP's name out of your fucking mouth

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jobs for girls who can't focus and are tired all the time and aren't rlly that good looking and get startled easily
I love it when media fucks up the wording of the Rasputin disclaimer and ends up with shit like "any resemblance to people or locations living or dead is coincidental". I'd love to know what committing libel against a dead location would entail.
Fuck the Fiesta Mall in Mesa, AZ. I heard it ate someone once.
i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat
A bot’s touch
okay, for those interested, here is a full timeline of how we got to Count Binface:
1977: Star Wars is released, featuring, of course, Darth Vader
(Pictured: Darth Vader)
1984: Director Todd Durham releases his Star Wars parody movie, Hyperspace, featuring Darth Vader inspired villain Lord Buckethead.
(Pictured: Hyperspace poster featuring two Jawa-esque aliens flying through space in a shopping trolley.)
1987: Hyperspace is released on video in the UK, under the new title Gremloids.
(Pictured: Gremloids cover in the style of the original Star Wars poster, featuring Lord Buckethead.)
To promote the film, Mike Lee, the owner of the distributing company, ran for parliament as Lord Buckethead. He ran in Margaret Thatcher's constituency, Finchley, in order to get on TV. Lord Buckethead was representing the Gremloids party.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with Margaret Thatcher.)
1992: Gremloids is re-released. Lord Buckethead rides again, this time against prime minister John Major in Huntingdon. (Here's a fun fact about Huntingdon: I was born there! :D) 87/92 Buckethead seems to have leaned pretty hard into the space supervillain thing, with campaign promises including 'demolish Birmingham to build a spaceport'.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with John Major. Other notable candidates include Screaming Lord Sutch of the Monster Raving Loony Party.)
2017: comedian Jon Harvey, having recently watched Gremloids and learned of Lord Buckethead's candidacy for parliament, decides it's a great bit. He runs against Theresa May in Maidenhead. 2017 Buckethead seems to have a wackier and also more political approach, with campaign promises ranging from nonsense like 'nationalise Adele' to gesturing at actually sensible policies with stuff like 'lower the voting age to 16 and restrict voting after age 80'.
He also made an appearance on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. As with his previous incarnation, he was a member of the Gremloids party.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead dabbing on stage with Theresa May.)
2018: Director Todd Durham asserts his legal ownership of Lord Buckethead. Jon Harvey opted not to go to court over Buckethead and handed over the reins. Todd Durham extended an invitation to anyone who wanted to be the 'authorised' Lord Buckethead.
(Pictured: the new Lord Buckethead.)
2019: Lord Buckethead, now played by journalist David Hughes, stood against Boris Johnson in Uxbridge and South Ruislip. He ran for the Monster Raving Loony Party, the UK's pre-existing gag candidate party. He ran with a similarly silly manifesto as the 2017 incarnation, but with a bit less of a political edge. His promises included 'All doorways to be increased by 1 foot (30 cm) in height' and 'Nigel Farage to be sold for parts'.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead and Count Binface square up.)
Meanwhile, Jon Harvey in his new persona Count Binface, also ran against Boris Johnson. Buckethead and Binface face off! Binface ran as an independent with a manifesto once again blending silly and semi-serious promises such as 'nationalising model railways' and 'giving £1 trillion a week to the NHS'. This was also I believe the debut of his promise to 'move the hand dryer in the men's toilet at Uxbridge's Crown and Treaty pub to a more sensible position'.
(Pictured: Count Binface presenting the offending hand dryer, inconveniently close to both the sink and the urinals.)
He has a point.
2021: Count Binface runs for the position of Mayor of London for the first time, with promises such as 'London to join the European Union'. He notably finished ahead of far right party UKIP.
2023: Count Binface runs in the Uxbridge and South Ruislip by-election following Boris Johnson's resignation. He once again gets more votes than UKIP.
May 2024: Count Binface once again runs to be Mayor of London, debuting his now iconic 'build at least one affordable house' promise. Notably, he finished ahead of far right party Britain First.
(Pictured: Count Binface with Rishi Sunak. Also pictured: Monster Raving Loony Party candidate Sir Archibald Stanton with a ventriloquist's dummy.)
July 2024: Count Binface stands in the general election, running in Richmond and Northallerton against prime minister Rishi Sunak. He debuts his promise to cap the price of 99p flakes at 99p. This is his most successful election to date with 308 votes.
(Pictured: Count Binface with Andy Burnham. Also pictured: independent candidate Robert Pownell, dressed as a fox for his own reasons.)
June 2026: Count Binface stands in the Makerfield by-election against Andy Burnham, (recently) former Mayor of Manchester running for parliament with the intention of standing in the Labour Party leadership contest.
(Pictured: Count Binface on BBC's Newsnight.)
July 2026 (this week): Count Binface announces his intention to run against Nigel Farage in the upcoming Clacton by-election. He is briefly the only other candidate in the race and by the time other candidates announce themselves the narrative of 'Nigel Farage vs Count Binface' has already bedded in. And then it was now, and then I don't know what happened.
Also worth noting for context re what OP describes as the 'semi-serious' nature of Count Binface's positions that '£1 trillion a week to the NHS' is (especially in 2019) pretty clearly a riff on the fucking lie that was peddled during the 2016 referendum that leaving the EU would give the NHS an extra 350m a week, and which became a bit of a byword for the ways in which the Leave campaign misled voters

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ive become the friend that's too woke after saying it's weird that anomaly games are experiencing a cross-breeding with border control games without addressing the fascist politics being critiqued by the border control games so we end up with stuff like "animal hospital", a game where you work in a hospital, and have to take patients, but some of the patients that come in seeking aid are actually eldritch monsters, pretending to be patients so they can prey on the weak and vulnerable.
and isnt that just so fucking topical. "yeah there's an evil other that preys on the vulnerable. and they look and act exactly like everyone else until you inspect them closely on a camera and the true nature of the monster is revealed. and even though they attack people on the street all you have to do is refuse them service and they leave on their own" just let me call ICE on them at that point
*on my knees, blindly feeling around the ground while squinting* my jerma camel cigarettes penis shirt jpg, i can't see without my jerma camel cigarettes penis shirt jpg
jinkies, that was close