Arank

Been moving this past few days to an apartment. I like it here, but at the same time, I don’t.

My mom always leaves me home alone on the weekends because my step father always takes her on dates, or something like that, either way, my only company are Harley & Princess (aka, my dogs) they’ve been with me through everything. I have moved in my life, 5 times, but this time, no dogs allowed.

It breaks my heart into a million pieces because I love this dogs more than I like certain people and it drives me crazy not having them around anymore.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love the apartment so much and the idea of moving out from that hell hole, but I do not like the idea of no dogs allowed.

What drives my crazy is that the owner said that they disturb the neighbors, bit yesterday, the lobby looked like a fucking concert from all the loud music the neighbors had.

Anyway, Princess is okay with my sister taking care of her and I get to see her most of the time because I’m always at her house, but Harley is with my dad, whom has never had a dog before. Today I had to take the dog there at my dad’s and leave him there, he was crying… I was crying, I miss him so much, the both of them.

Wanted to share this… I can actually tell you, this song it’s like my mind when I’m with that someone.

Person: Are you okay?

Arank: Yeah, totally.

Person: Are you sure?

Arank: 100%

Haven’t you ever had that feeling where… you can tell something’s wrong but you just keep on doing it because it feels right?

I have, a MILLION times.

I once was touched by multiple people. We were just sitting on a bench, talking, what normal teenagers would do, when all of the sudden, the conversation went from angel, to devil in just 3 seconds.

We started talking really horny. Then when one thing led to another, I could feel her hand touched my penis and an erection came on me like lighting. I tried to stop it, but it wasn’t on me, it’s like you want to make things right but you don’t know how.

It went on for three days, but I had longer experiences in that area with the same situation. I discuss it with my best friend and they all said to stop ‘cause that’s not who I am. But the weird thing is that no one actually knows who I am. I hated my mistakes! Like literally I regret it, but at the same time, I don’t. Because stuff like this will happen everyday for the rest of my life and I can’t stop it.

You know, I once had a crush, I liked her for over 2 years. Since 7th grade, till 9th grade. Her name was Lola.

I thought I had everything with her, a smile, love, life, I could even imagine us forever and ever. Obvioulsy we both liked each other... or so I thought.

We shared so many memories. There was this one time where she told me to go to her house and work on a school project, when I went there, it was all cool and chill. When the night drop down, I could see the stars glow so beautiful. She lives in a top of a mountain, you can see the whole city from up there. When I got out of the house and went outside onto the dark of a forest, I saw her come near me, we just watched the stars above us and I just went for it, I kissed her.

I think I was her first kiss ever, but anyway. After that night, everything was awkward, I mean, it wasn’t for me, but it was for her.

Everything started going south, so many problems came. My only mission was to make her happy, even if I wasn’t.

But at the end, she was a total... how you say it nicely? HORE.

She was in love with my best friend, her neighbor and some other kid in school, WHILE she was with me.

We never actaully “define the realtionship” as we say, but she kept telling me to wait and wait. Every single year she kept me in the friendzone, and when something good was about to happen between us, she just shut me down.

Good thing I had my friends beside me whenever something bad happened, I don’t know how could I survive without them.

And you know what’s weird? Now in 11th grade, I get to see her every single Monday because I joined some religious group, and she’s there.

We kinda went for it again, but it was kinda the 3rd time, after that, no more fooling around.

She then told me she liked some other guy and she have already decided to make her life with him, how can that happen? You only known the guy for months now, and you known me for 3-4 years and you never decided anything with me! This is just so stupid. I did started yelling at her and called her a bitch after that.