Nah.

Sometimes I inexplicably start to hate receiving any form of touch from certain people.

It’s incredibly frustrating to feel like crawling out of my skin when someone I care for reaches out to me.

I can’t even blame them when they inevitably get offended; I would also be convinced that someone hated me if they avoided any form of physical contact.

I haven’t been able to pinpoint why my body recoils from these people. It’s like a mental block that prevents me from outwardly expressing love.

Forcing it only makes it worse; it’s obvious when I’m hugging someone with clenched fists.

The only explanation I can think of is that perhaps a tiny aspect of certain people reminds me of a traumatic experience. My brain must have filed arbitrary traits as belonging to people who cause pain, and created a visceral response to the idea of physical contact with them.

But all this does is push so many good people away.