the marauders as shit i’ve said to my friends pt 1:
james: wait- do dolphins have tits?
lily: *abruptly leaves the house with harry and takes the car*
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remus: hey i got this new book-
*random people walk past having a conversation to themselves*
remus [very quietly to himself]: hey can you shut the hell up i’m trying to talk about a really neat-o book. anyway-
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Peter: oh okay. Well, i’m gonna go touch that moth now. bye.
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marlene: why do you have a tiny dinosaur toy in your backpack?
sirius: his name is stigman and he’s my emotional support squeaky toy. *gently squeaks him*
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sirius: ya know. no one could stop me from having pet worms.
remus: *visibly concerned*
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peter: i swear to god if you look at my toes one more time, i’m gonna physically turn you into a jigsaw puzzle.
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James: trust me. i can handle this. i’m an athlete. *proceeds to trip over sidewalk edge*












