Let your smile show your strength.

This is just a reminder that life actually does feel like i want to live to see what happens, your brain is lying to you when it says you have nothing else to accomplish. You’re so so happy and loved.

I hate feeling like I don’t want to be alone, but I am soaking up this quiet time with myself and my candles, and not an overhead light to be seen knowing that I’m meal prepping, surrounded by love of two little boys who won’t leave me alone, the cold and the warm coming from my apartment knowing that I’m fortunate enough to have both grateful to have a bed that I can sleep diagonal in covered in pillows and blankets in an apartment surrounded by my most beautiful possessions, wondering why I even am worried about somebody else trying to be here 

Hehehe life is okay 🤍

I so desperately wish there was a way to explain the way my depression is all consuming. It feels like the inside of my soul is being smothered by darkness when it wants to be bright yellow and shiny. The way that i can be having the time of my life with my favorite friends, eating my favorite foods and nothing feels like i can retain the positivity of it because the darkness pushes it out. It’s like I’m full of black smoke and cannot breathe. I hate living this way. I don’t want to keep living this way.

I just feel so irrelevant and want so badly to feel wanted or needed or something so so desperately

7/9/25: this place feels weird to leave after three long crazy years

I just can’t stop thinking about the next time i will lay my eyes on you. How i cannot wait to touch you again and know it’s all real.