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Cr. Staff Diary N.Flying Fan Cafe

Cr. Staff Diary N.Flying Fan Cafe

07/12/2021

Cr. Staff Diary N.Flying Fan Cafe

Last year I saw him like 2 times but this year is going wild!!! I saw him last week again. 

Why does he always has to be where I am? I’d say fate but I don’t believe in that xD

For some reason I ignore He’s always close to me, God help me!

When I told this to my friend she laugh a lot because iT was actually quite funny... 

I was going to leave my dishes when I saw an old ladie washing the dishes, I felT bad for her and decide to do it myself. He was there, he was supposed to do it but I wanted to. He told me not to do it and I reply “It’s ok I wanna wash it” (my heart was going crazy, I was talking to him!!!!!) but he insisted that he was going to wash the dishes and i keep saying “no, I’Ll do it” and again he told me “please leave that, I’ll do it”. Honestly at this point I was to ashamed so I say no and started washing, but he was behind me watching me wash the dishes and trying to convince me to stop washing the dishes xD 

There were some people aroung and kept laughing at us, some of them said that he was turning red because I was doing his work xD I don’t know if that’s true tho’ 

At some point I stopped washing because he was behind me and I was feeling the need of run away xD but I couldn’t because he had my dessert xD Why does he had my dessert? Why didn’t them give it to my mom? I don’t know, I just know that he passed me a towel to dry my hands and gave me that ice cream that taste glorious (because he gave it to me xD). And after that I could finally escape xD

I don’t know what´s happening this year. What I know is that this crush is going too serious and I can’t keep him outside my head, that at this point I want him to feel like me and want him to notice me and I wish I could be his crush. 

(It’s embarrasing doing this here xD)

So yeah, last time was wild. I kept thinking about him for 4 months. I knew I was going to see him last weekend but, as always, I wasn’t ready. 

I was supposed to see him from friday to sunday but no, I saw him on thursday, because of course that he was there, giving his all as the hardworking man he is. (Points for me because I’m hardworking too).  On thursday I saw him from a far (a little bit jealous because he kept talking to some girl), just pass by him without saying hi because I’m too shy to do it. Then saw him on friday and that was an experience close to death. Why? My sisters. 

Here’s the thing, My sisters are bullys, they love to tease me, and as I’ve never had a boyfriend the fact of me liking someone is meme material for them. 

So, on friday I saw him from a far, he’s taller than before and I suspect that he’s given more responsabilities because he was going from here to there. Everything was ok until the moment to go home came, I was walking to the exit when I saw him, right there at the door. My mom wanted to go to the bathroom so I told here I would wait for her. But my sisters waited her too, so I was there with my sisters pretending not to see him, but life’s not easy... He stood in front of me. I like him a lot so if he stand in front of me of course that my eyes will automatically go to him, so our eyes met and he smile at me (at that point I was about to die) and I return the smile. My sisters saw that and inmediately started to tease me! GOD! I wanted to run out there but I couldnt! It was SO embarrassing!!! T-T 

So I tried to stop the teasing from my sisters and then went home. 

On saturday I kept looking aroud to see him but just saw him a couple of times, he’s always so busy. But then again, when we were going home he was at the exit. When I was close the door I saw him going the opposite way as I, so I walked fast to avoid him, there were a lot of people so I turned to see if mom was following me and what did I found? That he was behind my mom. Why was he there? Weren’t him walking the opposite way? I panicked and run out there xD

And that was the last time, on sunday I saw him from a far just once. 

And here I am. Fallen in love with a boy that doesn’t have an idea. 

Last weekend was a roller coaster.

Last year I was afraid the this crush was turning to be too serious. Now I am afraid that he appear with a girlfriend xD Things are definetly too serious... 

Today was crazy. 

I wasn’t expecting to see him there.  The fact that he was there gave him 10 points more. 

Smiling charmingly as always, the moment I saw him my heart skip a beat. I always forget I have this Crush till the moment I see him, and every time I see him the crush become stronger. 

Hardworking as always, taller than before... 

But I wasn’t prepared for shaking hands with him. That was a surprise. I hope my smile wasn’t too akward, y mom was beside me. My friend was there teasing. 

And then again, we pass each other while walking and he turned to tell me something. Oh God! I had to control myself to not smile too much. 

And the effort to concentrate after that was huge. 

Why does he had to talk with someone in front of my car? Did he do it on purpose? I was supposed to go home calmly, but he was standing there lik “hey, take a last look of me before you go because you won’t see me in a while”. 

Ugh, Why is he like that? 

I have this crush, the kind of you deny to have. Like, I like him but no, but he’s cute and the next minute he’s ugly. The kind of crush you’re ashamed to have. 

So...I finally accept that he’s my crush

But...

My love life is really sad. 

I just found out that he has a crush on someone else.

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This person came and told me, “you saw the family of last night? They’re a lot so no one invited them to dinner.” So I asked? “Why did the entire family came?” And he aswered me “You saw the girl? That’s who X likes” 

And my heart broke a little again. 

I’d like to ask why not a single crush of my can work? Am I really that unlucky? Or is because I’m too serious? Am I that ugly? Or is because I’m too fangirl? This is a punishment for loving 2 Korean guys that don’t know I exist? Seriously I’d like to know. 

Update: 

Today but 9 years ago an amazing band made its debut. 4 handsome yet talented boys started his musical path. 

Their debut prooved that bands weren’t dead in KPOP world. And untill today, they proove that KPOP is not just dance.  

Talent. beauty, hardwork, perseverance, all of that make CNBLUE be where they are.

Year after year they make us proud, give us great music, great acting, and even now they are making us proud with their soldier skills. 

I can’t be more proud of CNBLUE. 

Hey People! Have you listened to Rooftop?  You haven’t? What are you doing? Go Go! This song is amazing!

I’m so proud of Seung Hyub, he’s so talented! 

I’m so pissed off about this.

I’ll keep supporting N.Flying no matter what, but right now I’m not feeling well. I hope this issue gets clear soon. In the meantime I won’t talk about it in any SNS. 

I have to confess that a year ago when I read the article about Kim Jong Hyun's dead I felt releive.

 But don't misunderstand me.

 My friend sent me the link and the first I saw was the words "Jong Hyun" and "dead" and I was so freaking afraid that my hands were trembling.

Then I saw it wasn't LEE Jong Hyun but SHINee's Jong Hyun and felt releive that my JH was fine. 

But it was just a second, then I felt SO bad. He was dead, he suicided. And  I realized that my JH probably was feeling bad as well. And for days I felt worried about him. 

Because KJH was fine and suddently he was dead. So I though "What if LJH looks fine but he's struggling too?" 

My point here is that a year ago we all were saying that we have to treart artists better, that we have to be good to them, that we have to support them... But, Are we doing it? Let's think about it again. 

I hope entertainment industry take a time to evaluate it too because I don't want to loose another star. 

JUNG YONG HWA LIVE ROOM 622

For those, like me, who can’t afford buy the DVD, it’s already on Spotify. 

This is a master piece! Really! Those arrangements are unbeatable!

Advice: If you’re Emotional Angel make sure you have Kleenex next to you because you’re gonna cry like a baby T-T