i don't just want you to love me

“Please don’t expose my hobbies, thank you. Okay, well to be fair… Magnolia Table: A Collection of Recipes for Gathering is a staple in any kitchen.” Robin quipped as she reached to nudge the other girl’s shoulder. “As you should. – So you’re a Kasey Musgraves fan? I support that.”

“It’s cute,” Izzy said simply, shrugging. She dared not smile as Robin confirmed her theory, but it was hard when she felt her shoulder being nudged. Izzy wanted to laugh. “I mean, yeah, she’s a badass bitch. I know the territory well. I guess I just like my girl music.”

“Are you lying to me? I know it’s lame.” Robin shot her a look before smiling to herself. “I genuinely don’t doubt that.” Pushing her sunglasses back onto the bridge of her nose, she nodded along to the beat of the song she chose. “I’m surprised. I kinda thought you’d choose something country to taunt me. But I like this better.” 

“I am not lying. I genuinely think it’s sweet. You’re like a suburban housewife rushing home to watch HGTV or something. I bet you even have the Joanna Gaines cookbook,” she teased. “I’m gonna take that as a compliment. -- Oh my god.” Izzy just laughed again. “If I knew anything other than Space, Cowboy I probably would. You got lucky today, partner.”

It was taking everything in Vic not to break down and cry… again. For the sake of listening to Izzy’s words, she attempted to hold it all together. “Yeah, but… he’s my ex because I – I don’t know.” She didn’t wanna take blame, she wasn’t drunk enough. That only broke her heart more, so much so, she just frowned as she closed her eyes. Up to this point she trusted Donnie in her relationship with him, that’s why she wanted to ruin it. “Oh.” Is all she said as it soaked in. The truth of the matter was, she didn’t wanna Donnie to never be around. “What are you suggesting, then?”

“Hey. Don’t start that. It’s not your fault.” It very well might have been, but it wasn’t Izzy’s job to judge. Her only role was to be on Vic’s side. Which she was. Even when she could be wrong. “Simple. You turn the video in. It’s evidence. Or you could hold it over her head and make her your bitch. The second option sounds like more fun but you might lose your nerve. And I’m not sure how cooperative she’s feeling after getting her ass beat down by a Spartan.”

Robin didn’t know how to prompt the question about the party, so instead she nervously tapped her thumb against the steering wheel. “I am, how did you know that? I didn’t like… tell you I’ve been wanting a pantry, right? That’s so lame of me.” She tried to keep her mom side toned down outside of Priya. “Of course, yeah. You can do whatever with it.” She said with a gesture before she pulled out into the street once traffic cleared. “I’ve got Spotify if you’re feeling extra spicy.” And with that she tossed her phone into Izzy’s lap with the aux cord. 

Izzy actually smiled. “No, I don’t think it’s lame.” She thought it was cute, but she didn’t say it. “I’m always feeling extra spicy,” she laughed, before searching for a good club playlist. Once she found a good enough song, she shrugged sheepishly. “Good driving music. And getting ready music. And everything music. I’m a straight bops kind of girl,” Izzy nodded.

Victoria didn’t expect to feel hurt another time in the same night, her heart dropped into her stomach when she heard Izzy. The girl beside her was the only one she truly put all of her trust into, and she knew she had no reason to distrust her word, maybe that’s why it stung so badly. It was bad enough that she always had a deep rooted fear that Donnie could’ve easily fallen for the other girl, and Vic wouldn’t have blamed him one bit for it. Izzy was everything Victoria wasn’t. Her expression fell into a frown as she looked into her lap. Tears were already wailed up in her eyes before she looked over. “When did he do it?” Turning away, fighting from crying, she felt as if everything else she said was a blur. “What? Yeah, right.” She forced a laugh and chewed on her lip as she toyed with her phone.

Izzy could tell just from the shift in Victoria’s eyes. Of course she felt bad seeing her friend in pain, but in the long run, this was better for everyone. “Babe. I’m gonna give you a little bit of tough love, okay? Exes are exes for a reason.” Squeezing her arms tight around Vic, she sighed. “Twice, actually. Once before you guys broke up and once... more recently. He was kind of drunk so I don’t even think he meant it, but kind of makes you wonder what else he’s gotten up to on nights with the boys, you know? Or who else.” Izzy shrugged. “The only way to make sure they stay away from you is to know you have all the power. You know that, right? Otherwise, he’ll reel you back in. And Imogen will always try to make your life hell. I’m not going to let her, obviously, but I do think she deserves a taste of her own bullshit.”

“Yeah? Okay, great.” She echoed with a nod as she closed the drivers side door. Robin had to be more articulate if she planned on prompting the questions about the party to Izzy. “You’d wanna do that? My dad did install a new pantry.” She said as if it was exciting by the sheer fact that she herself was excited about it. Turning her engine over, she reached to pull on her sunglasses. “So my house then?” Robin asked again as she backed out of the parking spot.

She really shouldn’t have asked to come over, but Izzy didn’t usually go home this early, either. “He did? Wow, I bet you’re over the moon about it.” She specifically remembered her mentioning that in one of their earlier conversations. Or maybe it was from a tweet? Didn’t matter really. “Yes. Yeah. Can I turn up your music?”

Opening night had been a disaster; and Spencer was still fuming. She was gonna find whoever tampered with the smoke machine and ruined her performance; and when she found them, they were gonna pay. That’s why the brunette was sat in a back corner table of the library, typing away on her computer as she attempted to hack into town records. She wanted to know what the police knew, especially since no one was telling her or anyone else anything. As someone neared her, she slammed her laptop closed and looked up, annoyance written all over her face. “Look, I came here to not be found… So unless you’re here to tell me something of the utmost importance, please fuck off.”

“Why, because the big bad boogeyman’s after you now? Chill babes, you’re not that enticing.” If it hadn’t been for the short hair, Izzy almost would’ve assumed she’d walked in on Robin, seeing a slender figure hunched over the computer so intently. “How’d you even get in here? I thought this place was on lockdown?”

In Vic’s book, Izzy was strong as hell. Probably even as strong as they came, and while she wanted to be more like that, she lived with falling into things and people way too easily. She could never imagine herself being closed off when the reason she got up everyday was at the off chance she could meet her soulmate. It was things like such that consumed her, and arguably distracted her. Finally being able to catch her breath, she nodded with a quiet laugh. “I wish I hated him.” She corrected herself, knowing there was no sense in lying to herself and Izzy. “I think we both know he’s beyond gross than we both could’ve pegged.” A smile crossed her lips, giving the other girl a nudge. “I’m way ahead of you, check your texts.” 

“I know.” She sighed, still on the fence about telling her. It was probably going to make her think twice about using the video against Imogen. Because it also meant using the video against Donnie. And Izzy had a feeling she’d never do that. At least not without some pushing. But could Izzy really do that, knowing what she did? Short answer... yes. Yes she could. It was probably for Vic’s own good, anyway. And her loyalty lied with her girl, not some Northlake fuckboy. “He puts on that dumb jock ‘I’m a goofball’ act and thinks he can do whatever he wants. You know he made a move on me? He is. Like. Gross,” she said, shivering for the full effect. “Ugh, thank god, I thought I was gonna throw up for a second. You wanna get back at both of them right? First off, let’s fix your makeup and get you out of here. You’re too drunk and vulnerable right now. Which is good for revenge, but bad for being around hot basketball players.”

Although Robin wanted to, she kept her eyes away from looking at Izzy’s face for the moment, finding she didn’t wanna do something as stupid as blush looking at her. “Good, good.” She said with a nod. Only hearing the other girl’s giggle caused her to think they might’ve been in the same place. “Uh, yeah. I’ll give you a ride home if you need it.” She shot her a smile finally intentionally trying to catch her gaze before walking to open the passenger door to casually grab her backpack out of the passenger seat and toss it in back before she got into the driver’s side seat. 

Uh oh. “Uh.” Again she giggled, although this time it was from pure nerves. Still unlike her. “Yeah. That would be great.” Shit. She’d have to text Vic and tell her not to wait for her -- which, Izzy, knew, wasn’t going to go over well in Victoria’s current state. Maybe she’d find a soccer player to distract her or something. "Or... we could just hang out at your house.” What? What was she doing? This wasn’t what she meant to say at all. -- Or was it? No, definitely not.

Usually Robin kept to herself aside from her friends she was close to then she kicked it up to full notch annoying. She tried to keep things more chill between Izzy and her. Tucking her phone into her pocket, she kept a smile on her lips as she folded her arms over her chest. Only her cool demeanor faded when she saw the girl pouring water on herself. “Oh, wow. Okay. Feel better?” Robin asked as she gestured. “I was just gonna ask how you’re doing and if we could talk.” To break some sort of awkward barrier, she reached to shove the girl’s shoulder gently. 

God. She was so cute. Not that Izzy needed much of a reminder, but just seeing Robin had brought the events of the party flooding back. The feelings. She couldn’t deny them anymore, they were there, and they were loud. Like, dam-suddenly-collapsed-and-let-a-river-out loud. Izzy tried not to look so obviously happy by the way Robin said wow. “Yes. Much,” she said, trying to appear calm despite her insides melting so furiously. At the shoulder-shove, she let out an embarrassing giggle. “I’m doing really good. Do you wanna like, go sit in your car?”

@iizzycastro

Robin did her best to be inconspicuous to the fact she was waiting around for Izzy to finish up cheer practice. She wanted to confront her about what had happened at the party, and how they never really got that moment alone. She couldn’t figure out if it was just a moment of the girl being drunk, or something more. Either way, it’d bee bugging her ever since. Hopping off the hood of her car, she waved as she attempted to catch Izzy’s attention. “Castro! Do you gotta moment?”

Hearing her name caused her brow to raise. Everyone who could’ve possibly wanted her attention was already at practice. Or so she thought. Turning to see the fawn-haired girl in the distance instantly made her heart race. Quiet down, she wanted to tell herself. But all she could do was blink and stare, unprepared for the sight of Robin and her long cute legs swinging off the hood of her car. Shit. Shit shit shit. “Yeah?” Izzy smiled, trying to seem unperturbed. “Wait, hang on.” She took her bottle of water and downed a big swig of it, before pouring the rest of it out on herself. “Okay. What’s up?”

Vic knew deep down Izzy was always the stronger one between the two, maybe that’s why she found herself relying on her for so much. She definitely knew she couldn’t have been able to get through any of her struggles without her by her side. Even if she didn’t necessarily give her the thanks she really deserved. Resting her head into the other girls neck, she just tried to breathe evenly as she listened to her. “I bet if you tested it science would be on your side.” She said in a breathy laugh through her sob. Frowning, she always had known better than to get involved with someone from Northlake, but when Victoria was around Donnie it wasn’t about where he was from, or wasn’t from, it was just about who he was. “I do hate him.” She said with a nod, knowing she was lying. She just wished it could be true. Finally feeling she was grasping control over her emotions, she tried to take several deep breaths. “Do you really think so? – Yeah of course, you know I’m always on that screen recording shit.” Finally she had a gleam in her eye as she showed her that she saved the video. 

As much as Izzy loved Victoria, her one flaw had always been the fact that she was a completely opened book. Even when she tried to hide it Izzy could always tell what she was thinking. On the flip side, Izzy wasn’t sure there had ever been a secret in her life she’d had trouble keeping. Even the shit with her dad had been a result her own choice to try and be honest with him. And that was the last time she ever dared to open up to anyone again. Maybe that’s why she and Vic were so close. Where one was strong, the other was weak, and vice versa. Sometimes Izzy wished she could just live the way Vic did. Unapologetically herself. The places she was violent and the places she was soft. “I bet so too,” Izzy grinned, squeezing Victoria’s hand and continuing to soothe her. But she knew Vic was lying. Open book. “I know, babe. I know.” Somehow neither of them had to say it, but they both knew the conversation they were actually having underneath the surface. “Uh, yeah. Otherwise he’s truly a grosser and dumber crapsack than we both thought. Oh my god.” Izzy grinned. “Victoria Grover, I have never been more in love with you. Seriously, I’m so turned on. Send it to me.”

“excuse me?” fitz turned to the girl, unsure if he had heard her correctly. “i would never be fucking ’ pals ’ with the person behind it.“ his voice rose a little, but he was quick to tone it down so he wouldn’t cause any more of a scene. "the girl being blatantly victimized is my friend. so, if you could kindly refrain from assuming you know exactly what is going on in this situation, i’d appreciate it.”