giving up my power brings me peace.
This might make some people uncomfortable, and thatâs okay. Itâs not for them. But for me? My peace, purpose, and deepest joy come from one thing: being beneath the man I belong to.
Not figuratively. Literally. In our home, in our dynamic, in our life - he is above me. I am his. And I am less.
Not âequal in different ways.â Not âpartners with differing roles.â I am inferior to him in our chosen lifestyle. Willingly. Proudly. With full knowledge and full submission. I gave up my power, and in doing so, I found peace.
Modern culture tells women like me that we should fight to be on top. Or at the very least, to never be less than anyone. Weâre supposed to demand equality, keep score, share every burden, lead just as much, assert constantly. And I tried that. I lived that life.
Because deep down, I didnât want to fight for control. I didnât want to lead. I didnât want balance. I wanted hierarchy. I wanted to kneel. I wanted to serve. I wanted to surrender completely, not because Iâm weak, but because my strength was never meant to be used to dominateâit was meant to be poured into devotion, obedience, care, and loyalty.
So I gave him everything. My choices. My voice. My body. My rules. My freedom.
And what I got in return was structure, safety, protection, purpose. A love that wraps around my soul like a blanket fresh out of the dryer. Warm. Complete. Anchored.
He is above me in every way that matters in our dynamic - his word outweighs mine, his comfort comes before mine, his judgment overrules mine, and his needs always outrank mine. My role is to serve. To obey. To please. Not as a performative thing, but as my actual identity. Itâs who I am, every minute of the day.
And strangely, that kind of complete surrender brings freedom. Because I donât have to be in charge. I donât have to lead. I donât have to split everything 50/50. I donât have to carry the weight of the world alone. I get to kneel in my rightful place and just be. Small. Soft. Humble. His.
Itâs not popular to say, and I donât need it to be. This isnât for the world to understand, itâs for me to live. And I live it joyfully.
I am beneath him, and I love it here.