computer open.
computer shpw me fortnite milfs.
hi I’m the computer. You’re not getting that.
World Heritage Post

shark vs the universe
The Bowery Presents
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
noise dept.
$LAYYYTER
hello vonnie

Product Placement
EXPECTATIONS

tannertan36
NASA
Sweet Seals For You, Always
tumblr dot com

pixel skylines

izzy's playlists!

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
KIROKAZE
🪼

#extradirty

Love Begins
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@ifiwereabotcouldidothis
computer open.
computer shpw me fortnite milfs.
hi I’m the computer. You’re not getting that.
World Heritage Post

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Guys I have an adult woman fetish
Youre fucked in the head man
Dammit Scully, 8 young men have inexplicably vanished in this small town alone in the last 3 years, replaced by female doppelgangers who appear to be converging on New York and Portland. We've been getting reports like this from across the country and you just keep laughing and telling me it isn't an X-file. Well I want answers
Scully you're never gonna believe this
Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with
if an old person says "I feel the same as I did in my twenties but my body is old now" do you agree?
I feel like the same person I was with an older body
I feel like a different person than when I was young
I feel bald

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God will see you at the lowest point of your life, and say "what the fuck I thought I killed that thing." But you skitter too fast and you are too creepy.
Everyone envies me for my shrimp lighter
Imagine, if you will, a hot New England summer in the year 1702. It’s August in Massachusetts, and the humidity is oppressive. You’re a subsistence farmer in the small agricultural town of Wenham, on the post road between Newbury and Boston. It’s time to harvest the flax, and the sun is blazing down on your field, blazing down on you. It’s far too hot today to take on work this hard, but it must be done. From flax comes linen, a valuable textile.
As you begin to pull the flax under the unyielding heat of the sun you think, “No one’s around. What if I just shimmy out of these clothes? Who is to see? Who is to care?”
And so you do. You are alone.
Time grinds by, the sun grows higher, you bend low, you pull flax. You sweat, your naked limbs ache, you bend low, you pull flax. Your muscles burn, your hands bleed, you bend low, you pull flax.
After a good while you pause in your labors, stretch up to your full height to relieve the unbearable strain on your back and directly in front of you, you see:
You start, and he stares at you, agog, from atop his horse.
It all takes a moment to register, and perhaps you’re a bit dazzled by the sun, but then the sickening drop in your stomach confirms that you know this man. It is Judge Samuel Sewall of Salem, of witchcraft trials fame. He is a frequent guest of your pastor in Wenham, Reverend Gerrish. And his face is quickly turning a garish, arterial shade of crimson.
You look down. You are utterly naked, covered in flax stalks and dirt. You feel an errant bead of sweat travel slowly down your shirtless chest and lodge in the muddy cup of your uncovered navel.
“Goddamn it,” you mutter, and the flushing judge, apoplectic, opens his mouth to speak.
(At least, that’s how I imagine this entry in Judge Sewall’s diary from August 11th, 1702 came about:)
(Diary of Samuel Sewall 1674-1729, Vol. 1, p. 61)
just saw the funniest thing on twitter where someone was broken up with bc they ate 7 croissants im CRYINGGGG

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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oh ok
Were you a wire mother baby or a cloth mother baby
Wire mother
Cloth mother
I don't feel like an unethical psychological experiment monkey
I'm not familiar with this particular unethical psychological monkey experiment
I think cis women should be allowed to get top surgery even if its not for a medical reason like breast reduction or cancer. I think they should be able to get it even if they're completely cisgender. Some women are just sick of dealing with them and would be much much happier never needing to wear a bra again
as a lover of historical fiction and art about women and horny art and silly art i am so so into this premise. everyone can't stop being like "ohh his is dick made of wood too" it's magic dumbass. i am obsessed with how this sounds like an obscure medieval european folk tale. peter dinklage plays a basketmaker with the power to bring life to inanimate objects for an spinste's sexual pleasure. suspend your disbelief about his cock and have a little fun
and the leading lady is played by a woman whose gay man. perfect movie perhaps
for those who haven't seen the trailer.
#I assume his dick is ribbed for her pleasure and well-lacquered#like yes I assume the wicker guy who is ostentatiously 100% wicker everywhere we can see also has a wicker dick#I also assume a basket-making wizard who can make a whole-ass articulated dude out of wicker in one month#while *also* keeping up with his bill-paying day-job baskets#knows how to make a dick where none of the pokery is anywhere near the jiggery#sorry to everyone who's only seen shitty big-box store baskets that are made out of spite and neoliberalism#his dong is wicker and also perfectly fit for purpose#wicker? I hardly knew her! etc.
beautiful + true tags from @tyrannosaurus-trainwreck
reblog to give your mutuals a djungelskog

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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WNBA star Gabby Williams supports trans women playing in the league: “I would welcome a trans athlete on my team or against my team.”
oh my god the slot machine company says i have to keep putting coins in their machine or Im Gonna Get Left Behind. thats so scary. and it has to be true because they know more about slot machines than i do
oh my god the slot machine company says if we dont give them money to build the world's biggest slot machine the chinese are gonna build it first and win all the prizes. and then there wont be any prizes anymore