Dwianri's Confessions @idwianri - Tumblr Blog

(text inspiration comes from the lovely @tolerateit)

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foxlungz

I just want to give up I’m tired from the bottom of my fucking soul like I don’t want to do this shit anymore like let me rest please I’ve had enough

idwianri

I sleep a lot today. They might think I am lazy, but truthfully, I just hope I will never wake up.

preventinq

idwianri

Yes.

I feel so bad about myself. I want to escape from this body. I feel ugly and my life is a failure. If only i could disappear or be somewhere where no one knows me. I just can't handle everything in my life now.

andromedanisa

“ingin, memeluk.”

—

aku ingin memeluk mu dengan erat. dengan sangat erat, dengan semua perasaan sedih yang sedang aku rasakan. aku ingin, sungguh. agar kesedihan ku memiliki temannya, agar kerapuhan ku memiliki muaranya. agar segala peluh dan riuh selesai.

aku ingin memelukmu dengan begitu erat, agar setelahnya aku bisa berdiri dan berkabar bahwa aku baik-baik saja. bahwa aku sudah selesai dengan semua kesedihan yang ada. tidak ingin dilihat siapapun, hanya ingin memeluk mu. sebab aku lelah, dengan semua hal yang tak pernah bisa aku pahami.

pada satu titik aku lelah dengan semuanya, aku hanya ingin bercerita, atau aku hanya ingin dipeluk saja. tidak lebih. dan aku ingin, memelukmu dengan begitu erat, wahai diriku sendiri. tak apa-apa, sedihmu akan ada masanya, harapanmu akan ada jawabannya. sebab, kau tak pernah benar-benar akan dibiarkan olehNya sendiri. aku mencintaimu, sungguh mencintaimu. tegarlah..

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hatin

there is so much hurt and sadness inside of me and i have no idea how to control it anymore

sad-empty-lost

The fear of trying to kill myself and failing is what stops me from trying at the moment

swanbody-deactivated20250415

idwianri

I miss you, D.

i-will-recover-tomorrow

yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou

And after a while you just stop. You stop watering your plants. You stop watching netflix. You stop reading. You stop replying to your friends as fast as you used to. You stop buying yourself nice things. You stop putting an effort into how you look. You stop taking care of yourself like you used to. You stop sleeping. You stop eating healthy foods. You stop petting your pet. You stop socializing.

You stop with everything. You find yourself sitting in your room for hours on end, without doing a single thing. Days feel like years. And you think you can’t do it for much longer.

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yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou

chained-heart-deactivated202311

Maybe I’m not meant for anyone after all.

c / all time does is pass

yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou

htvpgenny

“It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but its harder to give up when you know its everything you want.”

- Unknown

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I am sorry. I am the dissapointment to everyone...

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