does anyone want to talk about something perhaps ? =(

my whole existence is one big ' sorry '

i want to cut so bad but i can't so i'm stuck just drawing that, like always . and it's not helping nor does it even ever help

everything has been so triggering lately

i really messed up again and there isn't even anything i can do about it

sometimes i hate how they all notice all the wrong things

i feel too much unfortunately

i just fantasize and fantasize and fantasize and live my entire life in my head and then wonder why everything is wrong

i wish i could be taken somewhere to a normal place

i don't know what i'm talking about anymore

i am a shadow .. i want to be a shadow .. forever invisible, anonymous .. not really there, just observing .. sometimes i want to be noticed but at the same time i'd rather just not exist physically. like a spirit, a ghost, almost, kind of. i don't want anyone to know me, to acknowledge me (i suppose) .. if i could just peacefully wander around for one day, alone, unnoticed, silent, invisible, just observing people and life, all would be well or at least a little better i think. maybe i shouldn't wish for things like this, not for eternity at least, but maybe just for a day ..

i think i miss you but i'm not really sure anymore if i really do or i just miss the memory of you

i miss everyone and everything and things that haven't even happened yet

i just need to get away from this all

there is always a new low to reach

if only things were a little different