but my blog does?

i tried to explain what xenogenders are and why someone might identify with that, but then the next day they made the same joke again...

for context, the joke - idk if im reading too much into this - was just them repeatedly going like 'hahha i use *something*/*something*self pronouns' along with saying that 'what even is that gender' (in reference to a xenogender they found on the internet)

and when i tried to explain what it feels like, they just sort of went like 'oh' and still made the joke??? idk if they're not actually saying it as a joke but it does feel sort of mocking?

like you dont need to understand it but you dont have to make fun of people for it...

it's making me really annoyed and i just dont know how to bring it up to them or explain what it is... im also in general really nervous about bringing it up to them in general because i do identify with xenogenders...

doesn't help said friends have also - albeit accidentally - been rude and like... not very sympathetic, and sort-of-maybe made fun of autistic people...

and therians/otherkin/alterhuman beings/creatures...

and i get the feeling they dont really like it/its pronouns bcs they know i use them and have never mentioned it or used 'it' for me...

i wish i could understand friendship and what people actually mean... like are you being mocking? i think that's what your tone is... what are friends supposed to do? but idk how any of that works...

the phrase "love is love" doesn't include everyone, we know this. transness, aspecs, and intersex folk aren't included in that. Trying to expand the definition of love for this saying.

"platonic/familial/self-love counts too!" As much as i appreciate the (hopefully) well-intentioned attempt to share this thing that you enjoy with others, it doesn't help the way you (general) might hope it would. As soon as a group's inclusion relies on an expanded / 'periphery' definition, that group has become a footnote in the phrase.

If you have to specify "self-love counts too" its because self-love is not what people are going to be thinking when they hear "love is love", and you know that. It cuts off any conversations to give these communities their own versions for representation and visibility. If we really want representation in our slogans, just make another slogan. for an unrefined shot in the dark, "be who you are" seems like a fair starting point (but i wouldnt be surprised if thats in use somewhere already).

BUT (and I'm not trying to ignore the necessity of representation/visibility) I think there are more immediate and important things to handle than a slogan. The point of a phrase like that is so those outside our experiences has a quick accurate way to recognize us and what we stand for, the slogan being inclusive is not what makes us inclusive. It's not a magic spell like that and acting like it is only lets the disjointed and hostile parts of the community get off tax free / unchecked.

There's racism still unchallenged in the aspec community, there are real-life struggles of all the aforementioned groups that still need handling*. Those should be the focus. We can have the technical conversations of "love is love" (etc) when the whole community is actually here to have it.