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-let’s start this inaugural column by taking a close look at my two most favorite people in the entire world—Raven and myself!!!

Raven and I, despite what people may think, are really the best of friends. He lets me hang out and sometimes he’s even there with me! He is the coolest guy I’ve ever met in my life. Raven loves me, too. I know he does. So what if once in a while he, to quote him, “wakes me the hell up with a backhand or two”? He cares, that’s all. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not implying that I deserve to be slapped or even spit on. Personally, i think I’m way too cool to be treated like that and, if it was ANYONE else, I would Steviekick their jaw clean off their face. Raven, though, is different. He is the only cat that’s cooler than Stevie. So, in my opinion, he is entitled to a little “cool cushion.”