this is now a httyd blog and I'm not sorry

something i find hilarious about the mcu is that in modern times the founders of shield are absolutely worshiped, to the point that jemma simmons freaks out about seeing something that peggy carter once held, and then you watch agent carter and find out that in reality the founders of shield were a gang of rage-filled, PTSD-riddled, disaster-magnet 25-year-olds whose top hits include kidnapping a man using a tranquilizer gun meant for koalas and then convincing him he has malaria, being reticent to help defuse a bomb because he has a souffle in the oven for his wife, literally moving across the country because he mistakenly thought his crush didn’t like him back, attempting to blackmail his only friend with information that wasn’t even true, and nearly accidentally committing mass genocide on the people of new york city because he couldn’t keep it in his pants

I mean let’s be honest, “no men above the first floor” was not a problem at the Griffith. You can’t convince me that not all the inhabitants weren’t all lesbians or at least after Peggy and Dottie took up residence.

Now picture a young baby lesbian Agent just minding her own damn baby gay business walking into a break room to get coffee and coming across Captain Carter in the stealth suit with Black Widow and their “word play”, she grabs something random off the counter like that’s what she wanted, turns around and walks out hoping no one heard the little whimper she made upon seeing them.

[crying] i love how to train your dragon so so much

concept: you know how the flower field is all dead and crusty in new moon? ignoring the fact that it was probably just winter that killed all the flowers, imagine edward out there with a bottle of weed killer the day after abandoning bella in the woods, dousing everything in herbicide while crying

vampires don't need to bathe because they can't sweat or anything but they absolutely get dirty from running through the woods all day. so whenever that happens carlisle lines all the kids up outside and absolutely blasts the shit out of them with the pressure washer like he's trying to get mud off a car

the marble skin ensures they don’t get hurt or anything, but once or twice Alice wasn’t paying attention and didn’t plant her feet and her little body got blown right into a tree

Emmett tries to bite at the water like a dog with a garden hose

The twilight fandom has aged like a fine wine.

I bet Edward thinks getting blasted by pressure washer is penance for his sins or something

Steve Harringron in season 1 of Stranger Things is the most character. He did some bad stuff and immediately went "Aw, beans. That wasn't cool. I better go apologize" at which point The Plot he'd been blissfully unaware of for the entire show immediately tried to eat him.

I love Lannister POV chapters. Every single one is like "dear diary. woke up today angry and horny. drank eight glasses of wine for breakfast. a peasant came to court and asked for bread. gods they were so whiny, i could barely finish my lunch of swan and caviar. can't believe I'm so hated for no reason. better drink more wine. thinkin bout helping one(1) person today. i'm so sexy. I am repulsed when I look at my body however. my childhood hero came to visit in the afternoon - told me I was a massive disappointment. I threw a baby at them. gods I really am so sexy. why doesn't my dad love me."

reading asoiaf is so fun because these grown adults have beef with like 11 year olds. imagine a nine year old having a hit list with your name on it, how do you even get in this situation.