Probably

6:07pm

I looked to you and I thought

“You have no idea what’s coming, you poor thing”

The next 12 hours were spent traveling

You were stuck in a kennel that I was able to carry you around in

We were dropped off at lax and I took you from gate to gate

Crying for over an hour, scared and I’m sure you thought you were alone.

Every hour that passed I would just try to reassure you that “it’s almost over”

And that I was here with you.

Although you don’t speak English I couldn’t help but talk to you like you understood some of what I was saying.

I know you had no idea what was going on or about the journey ahead. And I know you didn’t exactly have a choice but, you trusted me to bring you across the country and you eventually adjusted to this new little room.

I look to you now and think the same thing I did in February “you have no idea what’s coming, you poor thing.”

But really

The fact of the matter is -

neither do I.

I know you’re going to be sad

And I know you’re going to cry for me when I don’t come home to cuddle you at night .

And I know this life is better for you than the shelter was but I can’t help but feel like I’m betraying you.

You always wanna be near me, with one paw touching me or at least in sight.

I’ve never had a pet I’ve been this close to.

You’re /my/ cat. I know you’ll be okay. And I know I will be too

Im no longer 22

I no longer live in SoCal

I saw a video of a woman saying there’s no such thing as starting over.

I find great comfort in that.

She said “There is no starting over

There is only continuing to become”

Starting over sounds like so much work

I will continue on, continue to be