i am..a reflection.

my heart actually hurts. my heart is breaking. i am nothing without you. i’ll never be able to find someone as amazing as you are. you loved me and hurt me the most. no one will ever love me like you did. i’m addicted. i’m feeling everything but also nothing. the only feeling that is grounding me is the feeling of a blade going across my thigh. i want you back. i miss you. i’m longing for your touch. your kiss. you won’t escape my mind. you’re there in everything i do. you’re every thought. but i also know that part of me hates you. part of me never wants to see you again. you’re both the best and the worst thing to happen to me.

i love popping my toes. it feels so good.

i went three years without cutting. i’ve done it three times since then. i think about doing it all the time.

i cut myself today. it felt refreshing and like i could breathe again. i want to cut more. i want to kill myself. i want to die.