alles umsonst.

and i kinda really thought that i’m over you by now

you didn’t cross my mind anymore

and i felt alright 

but then

by an unexpected coincidence 

i saw your stupid face again

saw your smile

heard your voice

and it hit me

hard

again

and just a few seconds

after your face vanished from sight

i found myself sitting on my couch 

with tears running down my face

again

and somehow that’s all i know since then

and it makes me so angry

cause i just don’t know what to do about it

i just feel so lost again

and i can´t help it

it just hurts like hell 

knowing that i can´t reach out to you 

again

cause you´ve already showed me

way too often

that you´re not ready for commitment

or

maybe just how much you don't care 

and i mean that’s okay

i can´t make you love me if you don’t

but i kinda wish (.)

that you would’ve never started talking to me

over and over

again and again

or that you would've had the courage to tell me 

that you just don´t want to see me again

that you don´t want to kiss me

ever again

that you just stopped caring about me

and it would be fine

but you just fucking didn’t.

it´s not fair

and it just makes me so angry

cause our time is limited

and after all 

i just sit alone at home 

crying over you

about how you never even tried

to be with me for real

how you never wanted me to stay

angry about how you made me like you

and then  left

without a word

but the worst part of it all

is that you told me

that it wasn't just about sex

that you actually like me

and we could give it a try

and that it could be beautiful

but in the end 

it´s not gonna be worth it

because you already know 

that it´s just gonna end up in tears

and you know what

that sentence 

that fucking sentence

shattered my heart 

into a thousand pieces

and i still feel the cracks in my heart

every time

i hear your name

so tell me now

what was it all about

where was the sense of it all

didn´t we end up in tears