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nonetoon

Everyone meet just a normal goose :)

nonetoon

Glad you guys like this totally normal goose!

nonetoon

I am making everyone remember normal goose

nonetoon

Well, I can not find the original separate post of this so I’m just going to tack these on here

elodieunderglass

Thank you @glitterdustcyclops !

nonetoon

Everyone meet just a normal goose :)

nonetoon

Glad you guys like this totally normal goose!

nonetoon

I am making everyone remember normal goose

nonetoon

Well, I can not find the original separate post of this so I’m just going to tack these on here

elodieunderglass

Thank you @glitterdustcyclops !

i-am-a-fish

stretching feels so so so so good I just did it and it was so good. I might indulge myself with another stretch and quite soon

vaguely-human-i-swear

My fish started stretching!

i-am-a-fish

FISH STRETCHING GIF

i-am-a-fish

There are three hundred rats

there's more

rat-in-the-grain

Like me :)

But I’m sneaky cuz I’m in the grain so they don’t count me >:)

i-am-a-fish

oh my goodness, rat in the grain, hello I love your work it's great to see you

rat-in-the-grain

Likewise I Am A Fish, you’ve been an inspiration :)

I enjoy watching your posts while scuttling in the Grain

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mclennonyaoi

i hate australian people they need a dumb fucking nickname for every single word. can’t even get in a car accident without some australian asshole coming up to you and saying “oh gotcha self in a carblammy there aintcha mate” kill yourself and go to hell

mclennonyaoi

fuck off are you serious?

mclennonyaoi

oh my god

mclennonyaoi

how do you have 2 silly words for a car crash

relevant-wikipedia-articles

viralvdio-blog

laughcentre

Quite possibly the best/worst fortune cookie fortune ever.

ominous-signs

Official ominous fortune

iusedtobecharming-deactivated20

Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!

rehearsing

happy too tired July everyone

parakeet

PlayStation putting out a legal notice saying they’re removing 500+ movies from user accounts days before announcing they’re getting rid of physical discs for games is an interesting choice

mindy-fit

blastingradio

Now that is some vintage sports goth

chanel-boots

This ad is very ominous and threatening.

raejin99

orchidvioletindigo

Are you fucking kidding me

ominous-signs

Official ominous ad

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probuccalfat

avoidance is lowkey funny because it’s like i don’t want love on the off chance that it gets taken away from me and then i have to become john wick or something

probuccalfat

we’re all on the only social media that matters and this is why.

criminalmindsverse

CRIMINAL MINDS 2.21 — "Open Season"

knitmeapony

Yes yes yes this scene thank you for the tag, heehehehe

kalindashepard

It’s funny because this scene must be based on the memoir Special Agent by Candis DeLong. In it she describes being out looking at clothes at a department store on lunch break with another female agent and overhearing a conversation between a man and a woman in which he says he’s an FBI agent. They peer around some clothes racks thinking that they’re going to see one of their fellow agents trying to get a date, and when they don’t recognize the guy they go over and pretend to be interested in the big strong FBI agent themselves and ask to see his badge. The guy actually pulled out a fake badge, whereupon they said “Huh, that doesn’t look anything like ours…”, produced their own badges and arrested him for impersonating an FBI agent. (I remember this bit from a 25 year old book because I actually stole it myself for a fic)

knitmeapony

Exquisite. Glorious. 10/10 thank you for sharing.

jameelaillustration

One of the coolest things to remember is that because prey animals have eyes on the side of their head, they can still see in front of them but they are focused on something when in profile!

i-am-a-fish

I can and will get more weird the longer I live which is especially good because I intend to live forever

average-smoothie-enjoyer

My favorite "humans are space orcs" idea is that trope where aliens kidnap some humans for their zoo, except it ends up like Jurassic Park. And the poor Alien Humanologists who were invited to the park are like:

"You mean you locked up a pack of curious, highly competitive persistence predators with NO enrichment in the enclosure? You FOOLS! If you had bothered to throw a basketball or half a box of Legos in there, KE-X9 would still be alive!

"Well of course they climbed the retaining wall! Did you think to study their evolutionary lineage AT ALL?"

what-even-is-thiss

The humans would find a way to use the basketball and legos to escape. I mean one time a guy somehow escaped from a prison in Mexico without breaking any laws so his escape would be legal so honestly given enough time the Jurassic park situation is inevitable.

purplemuskrat

Okay I HAD to look that up.

The guy's name is Joel Kaplan and he and his cellmate escaped via helicopter in 1971. The guards were busy with movie time!, and when they heard the chopper they thought it was an unannounced VIP visit so they scrambled to get into formation. They were so busy looking Official that Kaplan and his buddy just. Ran right past them. Whole thing took less than 2 minutes.

They got away with it because:

Kaplan owned the helicopter outright so no rental/leasing agency could claim improper use;

He and the pilot gave their real names when they crossed the border (idk if they didn't ask for anyone else's or...?);

Most importantly, it was a non-violent escape. Nobody was hurt and nothing was damaged.

Turns out that escaping prison is not, by itself, a crime in Mexico. "The person who tries to escape is seeking liberty . . . The basic desire for freedom is implicit inside everyone." Apparently a lot of countries hold that view. Felt some kinda ways, as an American, learning that.

Anyway Kaplan was also rumored to be a CIA agent so that's neat.

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sandersstudies

We were doing an activity where the kids got to make a playbill for a musical about themselves and all the other kids were like “character list: mommy, daddy, me, my brother, my best friend” “scenes: I get a puppy, first day of school, my baby sister is born”

But one little girl was like “oh, it’s a musical about ME you say” and the character list was all the other girls in the class cast as her body parts, and a story about how her body works.

“Kaylee is nice so she will be the heart. Lily is my kidneys. Sapphire is the lungs.”

She surreptitiously showed me that the girl who kept taking the crayons she was using was cast specifically as “left buttcheek” and I had to pretend like that wasn’t the funniest thing I’d ever seen.

draconym

When I am king, we will valorize sanitation workers the way we currently valorize the military

thegrindingwheel

So heroic posters showing trashmen battling allegorical monsters? I'm down.

draconym

Yeah but that's just the beginning. I also want Sanitation Worker Discounts at every business and blockbuster movie propaganda glorifying sanitation work. I want random people to salute garbage collectors and thank them for their service. I want drivers who get impatient with the recycling truck and honk at it and swerve around it to become social pariahs

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