dolly82

and i believe that im smarter than everyone around me, that i know of some secret sacred to me

but it never is real

the only people who cared

those two girls, one on a bike

the girl who i took care of while she peed

and you who answered the phone

the only people who cared in the moment

three complete strangers,

and you

On every holiday, on Christmas Eve

If I called, would you come?

Part of me hopes you would. But I know the distance doesn’t matter. No matter how long or how short, I’ll always push away; and I think you’re done trying

i’m going to overthink this act of kindness

i’m your first and you’re mine

I may be lying to myself

You, so large under the pressure of something so small

Compared to you I am

Promiscuous and Naive

And to me i believe

On the back burner, like a pot to be forgotten of

Stirred calm only when it boils up

Does x notice me? In the back of my mind, I hope x does

I eat out the hand and wait for the day

I crawl on all fours and gather my praise. But it’s not right. It’s wrong. It’s so wrong, but I keep scratching my skin with my teeth.

A stranger knowing me the same as my mother growing me in her womb. How can something appear so inviting but have sharp teeth behind a crooked smile and big hands to grip all it can until it grabs and grabs and I turn to dust again just as I have before Over and over and over again

And I want and I want and I want and the Apple is addicting sliced diced in pieces like I am in these gifts I give to you to keep you where you are with me. I want you here with me. Like a puzzle piece mixed into the wrong box You don’t fit but I keep Trying to force it in

I am inviting you in

I want you in

And I have been seen