Eat Cake Shit Bitch

high as fuck lowballing never worn baby shoe listings

in space no one can hear you moan like a girl

Ground control here, we can hear you just fine

so im having a piss in the bathroom (where its supposed to go…) and these vaping godless wenches think the sound of my tinkle warrants a giggle. does anyone know how to get me in contact with some powerful etsy witches for a cheap and swift vengeance

notice how its littlest pet shop and not littlest pet shelter, littlest pet adoption center, littlest pet rehabilitation. really twisted

people will claim to be filled with whimsy and joy for life but then hate musicals……. the vile tongue of man will never cease lying

bites you. fuckign bites you. bites you so har,d. SO hard. bites you so fucking hard (1 damage).

blonde people are so scary why cant u have a normal hair color like black or brown or green or green

i can't eat breakfast because they stopped making good youtube videos

biting can communicate so many emotions. angry? one big bite. affectionate? lots of little bites. sad? chewing on something thoughtfully. happy? many chomps. what isn’t there to love about it

on a completely unrelated note could the people I love move within 1-2 feet of me

if I just had the presence of mind and the wherewithal and the chutzpah and the bandwidth and the executive function and the energy and the mental resources and the spoons and the right attitude and the capacity and the gumption and th

you could just hit other people as a kid

kind of feeling like an empty vessel #emptyvessel

stop using chatgpt!!!! take a bronze pin and carve your questions onto an ox scapula, then toss it into the fire!!!! use the cracks to divine the gods answer!!!!

citations still have to be APA 7th edition though. if you plagiarise, the gods will flood the yellow river again. and you'll lose your academic standing.

(The Gods, personal communication, July 18, 2024)

“when i was little” brother you are 5’3. so you must mean yesterday. or five minutes ago.

“i'll be there shortly” yeah. we know.

"i love you" i'll be the judge of that

cat laziness is so contagious. you'll see your cat flopped on its back in your bed a completely comfy cozy baby and you'll be like. you're right. you make a compelling argument.

God will see you at the lowest point of your life, and say "what the fuck I thought I killed that thing." But you skitter too fast and you are too creepy.