Hypergamiss

First, I'm another girl who is 27 and never has had a boyfriend which is something that has taken a toll on my self-esteem.

Currently, I am doing a PhD, but, trying to find a source of income, I recently began working at a sort of "call-center" at a bank (it's named "remote sales", but iyky), although now I'm doing administrative work.

The problem here is that nothing in my life is going how it was supposed to:

- Despite having studied, given time, effort and monetary resources (which now I feel has all been a waste), I feel unseen, devalued and overworked. I am the person with most qualifications here (my colleagues only have obligatory schooling) and I feel it's acting in my detriment instead of in my favor.

- At work too, I had a conversation with a colleague about a bad attitude she had towards me and she has put everyone against me, so now I'm left alone the entire day (no one invites to lunch, to break, etc, just polite talks about work) while she's more popular than ever;

- A guy at work who used to talk to me when we met, asked me plenty of times to go to the gym with him and for lunch as well (but never saying a specific time and place), decided to invite me for lunch one day and the next didn't say anything about it. Since then I have been avoiding the place we used to meet up (coincidentally, although not so because he was the one to initiate all of our meetings and say where he would be) and he has not had the decency of saying sorry or making amends.

- Another guy at work asked for my number but then took hours to reply each text and after waiting for 9 hours for a reply, I ghosted him.

All this is happening now and due to stress, sadness and feeling unaccomplished and without hope, I have also had a drastic hair loss which is something that took another toll on me and my health.

This might be lot to take, but I guess I just want to ask if do you genuinely think that there's hope for me yet? Or maybe not? Maybe this is how it's supposed to be. Maybe this is something I have to accept, although I feel I should have more because I strived for more, for better and I want better. What do you think?

a few years ago when her second book came out she talked about how there was a 10 year period in her marriage to Barack, where she didn't like or love him, but she was never going to leave. But for him, he had plans to divorce her if he won the Illinois election that took place prior to him becoming president. He didn't win that time, so he got on the plane and went back home to her.

I feel like no matter the woman and how accomplished she is, she still needs a man to be considered valid. it's discouraging, I don't want to have to get married just for the sake of being taken seriously. if a woman like thee Michelle Obama stays in an unhappy relationship for a decade, then what does that say about the rest of us?

Lol I’m not a feminist. I just don’t think women who sit at home all day while the kids are at school and the man is at work deserve to complain as much as they do. They’re always online complaining about stay at home moms not getting recognition or appreciation. Appreciation for what? They’re not doing anything, that every other person on the planet isn’t doing. They think that they deserve rights to half a man’s assets even though they didn’t earn it at all.

More than once, with different men, they have taken me out to dinner or went somewhere that required spending money. At the end I tell him thanks for taking me to dinner or buying me x,y,z. He responds bluntly, “well i needed to eat to” or “well i wanted to do that anyway.”

I feel like they’re trying to downplay their efforts and make it clear that they aren’t taking me out just because they are interested in me specifically. Am i being too sensitive? It just rubs me the wrong way for some reason. Should I stop thanking men for things they should be doing already? I don’t want to seem like i have bad manners.

I've had boyfriends, but never to the point where i've brought them over for dinner.And had them meet my mom and dad other thing to note.I come from africane household with moderately strict parents.But they've never mentioned being opposed to having a boyfriend.Come over for dinner.How do I brooch this topic with them without causing some kind of blowout?

knowing this, is it smart to ever love a man? because 9/10 times he wouldn't do half the things a woman would do for him. I feel like at this point the only reason to deal with a man is for money and resources.

To me, she sounds like a lot of fun. I'd be friends with her. Some people were saying that she is unattractive and that's why the men weren't interested, but apparently there was a curtain blocking the two sides so they couldn't see each other anyway. Either way, I think she's a cute girl and would make a great partner for a non-flashy man.

I went down the rabbit hole of watching Red Pill videos reacting to this video and I am shocked. I'm dumbfounded. The men are saying "she is too much! What man wants this?" I'm confused. They say they don't want hoes, they don't want overly ambitious 'girl boss, feminist' types, they don't want a lazy woman who does nothing all day and they have to take care of her, but they also don't want to pay and spend time on adventures with a girl like Rylie because she costs too much.

They are saying that women like her are reason why men are single and they're making it sound like a bad thing. I don't get it all. I'm very similar to Rylie, where I'm always looking for new things to try and have fun. Some of my trips don't even cost $100. Just a road trip to the mountains. Most of the men I meet don't really travel and say they can't afford it. After reading how men feel about a Rylie type it makes more sense to me why I haven't had much luck. In my experience, it's like they're afraid of my hobbies and interests. So weird. I guess I'll be single forever because I refuse to sit around and live a boring life, so a man can feel bigger than me.

Maybe give yourself a "boycotting relationships" phase on purpose, if that takes off the pressure you're putting on yourself to be validated by others. Watch Wednesday (Netflix), that bad bitch don't need no man. Listen to subliminals for detachment. You're gonna love that headspace where you care about YOU. Love you, sweetheart.

Why does this get teated as something so amazing, when these are normal adult responsibilities? Everyone does this lol. It’s not special.

“or they end up finding hobbies, fitness routines, or passion projects that fill their days.”

Lol i’d consider that doing nothing. Know wonder so many of them need pysch meds to get through the day. It sounds like an easy life though. Doing hobbies everyday while a man takes care of you, is basically nothing.

You honestly sound like a beta guy trying way too hard to make a point and get validated for it. Just say you’re a feminist who doesn’t value traditional households instead of shaming women for choosing a lifestyle that works for them.

Anyone who grew up with a stay-at-home mom (or didn’t) can tell you there’s a big difference in how a household feels and functions. It’s not about the cards they were dealt with either, it’s about recognizing the value that role brings. A woman running the home can allow her husband to focus on earning more and more importantly create an environment where children grow up feeling secure, supported, and confident. And there's much more perks than that. If it didn't matter or had no value then people wouldn't get hired to do "normal adult responsibilities" like childcare, cooking, and cleaning. But oh wait, there's an astronomical industry for that, isn't there?