Hanyh

within the societal norms

'til little by little,

she cannot recognize

herself anymore

Our bond was ever stronger

Fate separated us

I waited, and we met ten years later

There, I thought you were my knight in shining armor

Shielding me, that damsel in distress

And just like those fairytales I watched

We'll create our happy ever after

And our love will last forever

But I never thought you were king

That already has a queen

And that in this story I thought was mine

I was once that cup of coffee you stirred to its perfection, now I'm that cold forgotten cup that had lost its warmth along with your attention. I was once that herbal tea– your comfort and healing. Now I'm that unwanted grass on your backyard that makes your brows meet, that grass you showered with curses and you kept on glaring.

I was once that hotpack you never let go in winter, seasons changed, and I'm now the jacket in summer you hanged at the far-end of your closet–remaining unnoticed. I once became your valued fan in summer, now I'm that same fan you never look at in winter as you enjoy the warmth of your heater.

I was once that green leaf swaying and dancing along the rhythm of an upbeat wind you used to admire, I once made your lips curved as you watch my willful tango. Now, I'm that dead leaf laying down the dry soil accepting its fate with bitterness, can only stare at you admiring another leaf with a new levek of sweetness.

I was once your favorite movie you would always pick, now I'm that old disc at the bottom of your movie album while you're enjoying your new-found series on netflix.

I was that... damsel you promised to lull in her sleep; the thick blanket covering your body with at night to find peace. I once believed on your candied lies wrapped in feigned concerns and melted affection. Now I'm that four-lettered words you spat when you're pissed. Shit.

You should be stepping forward with elegance and pride, not standing infront of me in deep sobs. No, do not cage yourself in our memories. Do not take me into your embrace, for I can no longer give you warmth. Love, you have to let me go. I am not your knight, not your superhero. I am just a guy who'll break your heart– the bullet that would only bring you hurt.

I've heard of your soliloquy—

of what you whispered

to those vines and roses

on your balcony– the way

you declare your love

to the man you only

met once at the party.

I've heard of your cries–

asking why does he have to be?

Why does he have to be

a Montague— the Capulet's

loathed enemy?

It had bothered me for

days, and nights

for the only thing I seek

is your pure, young heart,

yet was stolen by the man

you only met once

Oh dear, dear Juliet

my heart had vowed to thee—

no matter who owns your

young, sweet heart, I'll

make you love me

But I was a fool, beloved

Juliet, for I failed to

understand destiny

I neglected the message

the stars conveyed to me

For now, all I see is your

cold, lifeless body

beside your beloved—

a young boy Montague

I envy Romeo— that fair

young man you met at the party—

for even in death, your

heart belongs to thee

You were truly star-crossed,

and I am the star whose

sparkle was too dull—

the luster too weak;

it never reached your eyes

And this star bids his goodbye

To the sweet, sweet Capulet

If one day the universe

decides for me, I will no longer

walk the path where I can

see your beautiful smile—

which will never, ever be mine.

-Love, Paris

I broke up with my boyfriend

who was eight years younger than me

Now, we're both happily married

He seems to be the happiest as I stare at him

Grinning widely while cradling a baby in his arms

When I went beside him,

He nodded and gave a light smile

I asked, "How's my granddaughter?"

"Let's break up. I'm tired"

That was my boyfriend's last sentence before turning his back on me after a huge fight. My heart shook, adept to a huge stone being thrown at the water's calm surface, and ending up to my shoulder.

I couldn't imagine the heart wrenching pain it brought me, comparable to being gnawed on by wolves and bombed right after, turning into very tiny fragments. Taking the life out of it.

I was never a fan of poetry, until he gave me one. I was drowned in his profound imagery and indulged me with all kinds of metaphors. I was carved in every one of his masterpieces. What a fantasy I deluged myself into—before.

Now, seeing his newly written poems that's filled with life, I just can't accept the pain knowing it would be for someone else. Not for me anymore.

"Keilla, are you ready? You're first!" the restaurant owner shouted from the side.

"Yes, sir!" I answered.

I immediately got my guitar and went to the backstage for my performance. Tonight is the restaurant's weekly concert, and I am one of the performers.

"Sing from the heart, okay?"

"Yes, sir"

The moment I sat down on the small stage's seat, my heart began pounding uncontrollably. My grip on the guitar tightened, gathering my courage on the decision I made today.

I closed my eyes. As I strum the first melody of the guitar, flashes of vivid memories rushed through me. Strenghtening my stand on my resolution.

🎶My shattered dreams and broken heart are mending on the shelf🎶

"You don't need these make up. You are much more beautiful without it"

He said, putting aside my makeup kit and kissing me on the forehead. I giggled. He lifted my chin up and rewarded me butterfly kisses on my lips. Damn. My face heated up.

"Kievve, stop teasing me!"

He chuckled seeing my reaction.

He always made me feel my own version of cinderella. It made me fall for him. Hard, and deep.

🎶Now I sit all alone wishin' all my feelings was gone

"Baby, why me?"

I asked out of curiousity. I mean, there are a lot of fishes in the sea, why me?

He looked straight into my eyes.

"Because it has to be you."

🎶 I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do

I must've indulged myself too much on this fantasy. I forgot we weren't living in fairytales, and reality slapped me real hard.

He became cold and distant. His replies became shorter and shorter until he rarely sent me messages anymore.

"You said you'd never leave."

"That was before, Keilla."

"Kievve, baby, please don't. What had I done wrong? Please tell me. I'd fix it. Just... don't."

"Let's break up, Keilla. I'm tired"

🎶 I was here, you were there. Guess we never could agree

"Baby, please"

"Let go, please. Let go and make me happy"

The hand that was clinging on him lost its strenght, along with dying hope. My mind went blank. I stiffened.

He's not happy with me anymore?

🎶While the sun shines on you, I need some love to rain on me

I cannot measure the amount of tears I poured for him. Every night I go out with my friends to drink, and I always ended up wasted.

I was wrecked.

🎶 One last cry before I leave it all behind. I gotta put you out of my mind this time. Stop living a lie🎶

Why do people came into our lives just to leave us broken at the very end? Like a calm evening disturbed by a raging storm, left deformed.

🎶 I know I gotta be strong 'coz life 'round me goes on and on...

Realization strucked me. I shouldn't have loved too much, to avoid hurting so much. I should've left some for myself, to heal the scars once broken. Because the only thing that would be left with me once abandoned is myself. And giving away too much would only slow down my healing, 'coz I don't have enough love in me to cover me with warmth.

That I should've loved myself a bit more.

🎶 I guess I'm down... to my last cry 🎶

The last drop of tears fell from eyes, symbolizing the final song I'd ever dedicate to him. Embracing for a stronger, tougher Keilla.

He is the subject of all my heartfelt poem. The peony that grows after a raging storm. His essence is all over my literary works. You will see his presence within the structured words.

"I think he's a grade 11 student. I don't know, I'm not familiar with him"

The lies I speak denying his name. He is not just a student, he is my flame.

"He's handsome"

He is more than the word 'handsome'. He is the vision of my blinded eyes. He is not just a pretty guy. He is my moon above the sky.

"Do you like him?"

The word 'like' is a far cry. He's my solitude, a haven in the confusing hours.

"No"

For he is the unreachable sky. The universe beyond the scope of my naked eye.