swishes my big fluffy $$$$-ing tail

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

How i look when I see a loud noise

Bim stance

He is in Minecraft

It's a trick! If you reblog you get TWO käpylehmäs in your blog!

They're traditional Finnish toys, little cows made out of spruce cones, on their way to see the world from one tumblr blog to another

You know Jones soda cap, as a tumblr user i can actually say i think I have.

i’m sincerely always saying this

Really funny one two punch on my dash this morning

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The better machine.

tastes delicious so good. idk what to do with it though

thank you for your recommendation! with brief consideration, it has been disregarded.