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“Why not? You’re already at an advantage, limits-wise. I wanna see how far you can take it.” Pax had potential, if he could stop getting in his own way. “No one else I’d rather teach all I know! Why don’t you start by telling me what you worked in the, uh, box. You said you made a lot of progress while you were in there, right? Did you pick up anything new?”

Briefly, his cowardice wins out and he entertains just leaving. He could untangle from Jan and lock himself in his own room, hide away from all of it alone. But the vulnerable gaze that stares back at him pins Jae to the spot, and instead he finds himself cautiously soothing and rubbing small circles on Jan’s shoulder. He’s too amped up to risk releasing his nullification to put any power into it, but the intent remains the same. This is all his fault. “It’s awful. We’ll never talk about it again. I promise.” He’s whispering, a tense hush enveloping them. He’ll do anything Jan asks. Anything to fix this. “Just…” Jae pushes Jan back so he can prop himself up and hover over him, crowding in to leave a wet kiss at the corner of his mouth. “Tell me what you need.” He’s got a hand on his jaw, and he leaves another kiss right on the edge of it. “I’ve got you.”

She hates that he has a point — in her haste to persuade him, she almost dispelled any sense of believability. Paranoid little bitch. “I’m more comfortable with someone I spend all my time sharing a workspace with than some hero that’s been training all their life,” she corrects with an overly polite smile, “Wouldn’t you be?” Before Lillian can feel too frustrated, however, Elliot’s growing discomfort puts her more at ease. “Easier said than done, right? It would have to be pretty big to protect you and then there’s the matter of moving it in front of you. Are you good at shielding?” She tries for a bashful smile but it’s a little too sharp. Oops. “I don’t know anything particularly useful. I just have a good eye. You never know who you can trust out there so I try to keep a watchful eye on everyone. But I think I’d rather just hide.” With a look of intense pity, she takes the cup out of his hand and takes a careful sip. It truly is awful, but she’s ready for it so she just hums. “Strange, it tastes fine. Are you sick? You’ve been so tired lately… Maybe you’re coming down with something and it’s affecting your taste. Here.” As she moves to hand it back to him, it ‘accidentally’ slips from her grasp, splashing down his shirt. “Elliot, my gods! Are you okay?”

“All good. No time like the present, right?” Juniper isn’t equipped to handle Dahlia’s subdued mood with any kind of grace, so she just pretends she doesn’t notice and links their arms together. She’s always been better at charging ahead anyway. “Training’s been so boring lately and honestly, I just need to stretch my limbs without breaking someone’s ribs. Come to the beach with me! I wanna see if I have enough magic by myself to make all the water there sparkly just for you. I know how you feel about glitter.” She giggles, teasing.

“Are you sure? You know, I could really see you pulling in some fans,” she jokes, a somewhat drier tone than normal for her but it oddly feels right with Dahlia, like for once they’re on the inside of the same joke in poor taste. There’s one last airy chuckle escaping her throat before she catches Dahlia’s sincere but quiet tone, and she turns to look at her as her own expression softens. After a beat, she nods, taking it in, what she means, what it means to hear it from her. “You’re right, I… I wont. Thanks, Dahlia,” she says, and she’s not sure she’s ever uttered those words before. She knows the girl before her doesn’t want to be treated on eggshells, so it’s slightly hesitant when she asks, “Are you alright?”

            ❛  FOR REAL ?   i  think  they're  just  a  constant  reminder  that  we  fucked  up .  we  fucked  up  big  time . ❜  and  though  theo  still  placed  most  of  the  blame  upon  herself ,  she  knew  dahlia  wouldn't  like  that .  ❛ we  spend  years  killing  monsters  for  marina  to  go  ’ hey ,  sorry ,  we're  teaming  up  with  the  people  that  could  be  plotting  against  us ’ ?  i  don't  know  about  you  but  i'm  not  looking  for  friends . ❜

“hey, grey, remember how you’re not supposed to say everything you’re thinking?” eren stared at the bandaid like it was a second head. “i think you’re lucky it’s not worse. why would you say that to someone?” 

“It was quick. That’s not something you should have to remember.” This is wrong. Why had he come in here and made things worse for both of them? “Please stop thinking about it. I shouldn’t have said anything. You're– you're– ” Not gone not gone not gone. Jae feels on the cusp of breaking, heart racing and breathing short. He cards a hand through Jan’s hair to ground himself, a reminder of the present. He traces jaw, cheekbone. Jan is so alive right here, in every touch, but he could fade away like a mirage at any second. In this timeline, his friend is alive. He has to remember that. “Can we just…” Jae pulls his gaze back to Jan’s, searching his features for a solution. Talking about it made things too real. But there is one thing Jae is good at, so he darts forward and connects their lips. The noise in his mind turns to pleasant static for one peaceful moment, before he realizes what he’s doing and pulls back roughly. He forgot that the second thing he’s good at, actually, is creating problems. “Oh, I– I shouldn’t have done that.”

She doesn’t even hide the empathetic frown she gives Dahlia, knowing how much it must bother her. “Extra training,” she mutters in response, a heavy sigh following soon after. “At this point I wonder if they’ll ever let me graduate. Should we quit and become techs, or— gods— ambassadors?” Cece jokes, scrunching her nose and brow at the thought of purposefully putting herself in front of a camera. On a normal day, she’d think Dahlia would command stage presence, but even she seems to have lost her luster. 

Astrid’s anger is easily quelled when her younger brother starts to act guilty, and while it’s a trait that probably isn’t healthy, she can never blame him for anything longer than two minutes. “It’s fine, it’s fine, don’t worry, Pax,” she sighs, reaching out to squeeze his arm. “I promise I won’t tell on you.” It’s times like these that Astrid wonders how their parents ever dealt with all of them at the same time, but clearly they were able to manage it somehow. “Do you think maybe you could take on extra training? Or find a tutor for the magic stuff?”

“yeah, what i was told sounded a bit chaotic.” the second loop especially stuck in her mind, scared her to know what people had to experience because she just couldn’t get it right. marina told her it wasn’t for her to fix or change, but she knew she should’ve been able to. “she might remember more, then?” a guess, at best. “or she’s just sorting through it on her own. she’ll come to you, soon, i’m sure of it.” she would’ve expected grey to be excluded, if that were the case, though. but she couldn’t pretend to know what it was like, either, to have a sibling. “healing is…good. defense lessons are a great idea, at least. progress, at least. immediate.” she didn’t really know how to ask how many people had figured out what she had done, and skirting around it was the best she could do still. “how much did marina tell everyone?” 

there’s such a palpable sense of distrust, it broadens her smile. it’s invigorating, the way elliot’s nerves rock the fragile balance between them. let him think he’s the one with a blade pointed at her as he backs away from her. lillian is just waiting until they reach the cliff’s edge she’s slowly leading them toward, so she can push him into the air. she takes a long sip of her own drink, pretending not to see his obvious discomfort.  “right? ugh, sorry, i’m just so in my head about it. everyone is tense lately, especially about training. i feel like if i ask for help, it’s going to be super intense for a beginner. i would rather learn with someone i’m comfortable with. are you sure you don’t know any defense? what’s your go-to?”  she blinks, owl-eyed. what a question.  “just extra ice. why, is there something wrong with it?”  she takes another sip of hers, shaking it a bit like that will do anything.  “mine tastes fine. you haven’t made any enemies, have you? i can go yell at the barista about it, if you want.”  she will not be doing that, but she does consider for a moment making a scene wearing his face. now that would be funny.