Mr Popadopolopalus

As an atheist, putting my hand on the Bible and saying an oath before testifying to a court is less likely to get me to tell the truth than a pinkey promise

When my parents were fighting for custody, I was old enough to have a say, so they put me under oath to assure I was being honest with my feelings. Using my best serious face, knowing what was coming, when offered the bible to swear on, I requested to swear on the secretary’s hole punch, “because it’s far more honest. It says it’s going to punch a hole, and it does, best God I’ve seen today.” My mom buried her face in her hands, my dad sighed and rubbed his forehead. The judge almost choked on his water before telling the bailiff “find this young lady a hole punch!”

And the whole bus clapped.

It’s true, I was the judge.

I physically cringed while reading that jfc

The custody battle was over who had to take the kid since no one wanted to

cubism.jpeg

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Most people don’t realize how significant the difference is between millionaires and billionaires. To put it in perspective a million seconds is 11.5 days while a billion is 31.7 years

George Santayana once said that those who don’t learn history are doomed to repeat it. 1000 years ago, we believed the Earth was flat. Fast forward a thousand years and you have people doing just that

yeah definitely not as wild as when people got lobotomized just for jacking off amirite

i once heard a scientist in a documentary about evolution refer to the human spine as an “architectural nightmare” and then procede to explain why every back is a bad back. it was so validating.

I adjusted my bra straps wrong one day and I’ve been in a ridiculous amount of pain for the past week.

lol this definitely from a company who makes pins for raves. rave pins have rule 34 for almost anything you can imagine