Hello, fellow escapee. Welcome to my humble thirst blog, where I thirst over fictional characters! Contains NSFW and SFW content! Please, enjoy your stay (and my shenanigans).
REQUESTS/THIRSTS: CLOSED
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STATUS: Semi-hiatus
Art reblogging blog: @amarylisses-sunflowers
Reblogging blog: @chaos-reblogging
AO3: secretatia
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(PS. Make sure to check masterlist to see if your request has been delivered! I always update it once I'm finished with a fic!)
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Back with another moot game :3 ... (pls don’t flop)
SO! You find 5 images on the internet that you believe suits the person who tagged you. (So basically 5 images of what you think their aesthetic would be) And then you tag your moots and they see what YOUR aesthetic would be :3
tags: @theweebkate @atetheluck @bamgyuu-2001 @bam-here @pineapple-burgah (not a moot but a dream moot) @yettitoes @lovegasmic (I hope she got her account back) @hunluan-writes @saeivra I have more but these are the ones I could think of that would do it 🙂↕️
i would love to see some more freo or seible fics for now since I am currently not able to write myself. i will leave it up to you to make it for either and whichever theme you want :)
@@ DEFINE OUR CHARM !
Coming right up !!! Doremin and Seinyans, come get your cutesy headcanons! ^0^ This might be a bit ooc, I really hope I did them justice ;;
ART CREDS — kombu829 on twt !
SEIBLE
I feel like before a relationship, Seible would just be himself! Sometimes flirt and say unhinged things, but he'd still show his affection in a very secretive way you wouldn't get unless you were suuper close, since usually he's that kind to everyone!
He always wants to pay for your stuff when you're out, he sometimes even buys some stuff you looked at for 2 seconds more than other things! He says it's "Just because", but he really just likes seeing you get all happy! He even tries to insist on buying you both matching outfits, accessories, anything!
When he DOES confess, he tries his best to be the most charming as possible! If he does confess earlier than he intended, he jokes around and tries to gaslight you into forgetting since he had it all planned out; he didn't want to ruin the surprise!
♡
FREODORE
Before a relationship, he is a bit confused about his feelings towards you, since he isn't all that experienced in romantic attraction! But he's trying his best! He enjoys the fact he can just talk with you normally without his social battery going down as much, maybe even seeing you as a way to recharge. In all, he's just trying to test the waters and see if he truly does feel attracted to you, either way he's glad he has someone to be comfortable with!
He usually asks you to come along to coffee shops he wants to try out, since he sees it as a way to bond and talk quietly. He also enjoys when you guys have spa days together! He likes doing his skincare, and would probably enjoy doing it with someone as well.
Confessions, might be a mix of awkward and casual. It just slips out of his mouth during a coffee shop talk. Once he realizes what he said, he apologies but is straight forward with it! He was a bit embarrassed from not thinking before saying it, and felt guilty for not planning anything out first, but it still went out well in the end!
i love seible jacob nijisanji and furifuri c: first time actually writing lovey dovey stuff outside of oc lore please dont throw tomatoes ..
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Back with another moot game :3 ... (pls don’t flop)
SO! You find 5 images on the internet that you believe suits the person who tagged you. (So basically 5 images of what you think their aesthetic would be) And then you tag your moots and they see what YOUR aesthetic would be :3
tags: @theweebkate @atetheluck @bamgyuu-2001 @bam-here @pineapple-burgah (not a moot but a dream moot) @yettitoes @lovegasmic (I hope she got her account back) @hunluan-writes @saeivra I have more but these are the ones I could think of that would do it 🙂↕️
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The annual end-year party is a tradition well-cultivated in the walls of Nijisanji. It was a serious part of its culture, so much so that a ballroom has been rented out, and a lot of the staffs and talents have searched for the perfect gown, the crispiest of suits, and of course, even the schedules paved way for the merriest evening in the year.
The newest unit, Veil:on is on their edge. All five of you have gone out of your way, scheduling an arduous day of finding dresses and accessories. Not only that, the Christmas gift-giving season made it extremely hard for all of you to find a gift for your talentmates. Unfortunately for you, you have gotten, possibly one of the luckiest (and hardest) person to give gifts for.
"Oh dear, whatever shall you do?" Your leader snickers, watching you spiral for the hundredth time. "Getting Vanta out of everyone in Nijisanji~ You're soooo lucky!"
"Shut up, I'm literally panicking." You cradle your head in your hands, refreshing the wishlist site over and over again only to find his list empty.
It was no secret that you liked the man, so much so that you've had his merch idling in your house, with his puppet on your person at all times. You still wonder how you're still able to fare. Despite being Interacting with the hero, no one seemed to notice the way you laugh when he makes a joke, or that you lean towards him when you're chatting before a game. Falling into proper character comes so naturally, that only your close friends knew that the moment you start referencing him outside of the cameras is when you're cooked. Hell, you even say the things he says every once in a while, and when your friends clock it the first time, you vehemently deny the allegations. Fancying someone you work with is... taboo, disgusting even, more-so that both of you are from the same company, with the same occupation (the only difference is that Veil:on is more secretive, which is pretty ironic considering that you're partnered with an entertainment corporation as a talent).
"I could hit up Wilson," one of your genmates said, watching reels on their phone. "Maybe tell him to egg Vanta into writing down his wishlist." You plead, gazing over to your genmate with such pity. You look back to the screen, and by some miracle, something new pops up. "Hol'up! Maybe we don't have to. He wrote something down." You click on it, and by the gods, you were NOT ready for what was written.
'umeshu ans a kissss.'
"Never mind, he might be drunk. What the fuck is this???" That typo only encourages your assumption. Your leader looks over, and cackles loud, slamming their hand on your back as they congratulate you for the very unfortunate response. Your other genmates only look at you with teasing glances, and you can't help but pass out with your soul ascending.
"HE SAID THAT?!"
"WOAH YOU'RE CATCHING W's."
"The auraloss is insane. He's actually a yearner, on God."
You cradle your head with your hands even more, covering your face as it blooms to red. 'No, you're being dramatic,' you think, but rereading the list all over again makes you antsy for the future.
"You're blushing again-"
"No, you're blind af. Stop perceiving!"
Before you knew it, the year-end ball awaits your unit. This is your first time, having debut within the year. 2026 is such a rollercoaster, and with where you are now, you're proud to end the year of new beginnings. You arrive in your fanciest attire, your signature colors draped across your body, intricate designs, and dazzling accessories. Everyone is looking their best tonight, and your eyes scan at all the embellishments within the rooms. Before you knew it, your eyes make way to the hero. Slicked back blond hair, and a suit of black, grey and purple. By the gods, he's stunning.
"Oh, you're eyeing him so intensely," someone says. You whip your head back, and it's Kaelix Debonair. "Oh, hi Kaelix!" He's wearing an intricate suit of whites and cool grays, with his signature color on his breast pocket. "You look amazing, God damn!" You exclaim with such fervor, and he poses for you. "Freo made custom suits for the by the beat!" You nod in awe, gazing intensely at the designs of his suit. "He did so well. I'm almost jealous." "Anyways! You looked a little- a little dazed watching Vanta." His smirk comes back, and you cough into your hand. "Everyone's very attractive, I was just taking time to admire each and every person in the room." He doesn't seem to falter. "Yes, yes, very attractive people in this room."
"But you're somehow staring back at Vanta, hmm? I wonder why is that." You gaze back at Kaelix, and say in your most casual tone, "Can't your cute and amazing junior admire a senpai every once in a while?" He seemed to snicker. "They can, they can, it's just suspicious that out of all the senpais in the room, you've chosen Vanta."
"Oh, hi!" You suddenly hear your crush from up close, and you flinched, making Kaelix laugh. "You scared me, holy shit." You instantly started conversing in your usual casual tone, despite the banter you and Kaelix had a few seconds ago. Before you knew it, Kaelix was being dragged away by Zeal, with the bartender giving you a smirk of his own. Teasing seniors, you swear to god.
"Woah, you look really nice tonight!" Vanta says, and you almost died if not for the fact your close coworkers are watching you from a part of the room. "You too. I really love your hair, and the outfit is auramaxxing too good!" "Really? I didn't think slicked back hair looked good on me." You reply, "It's different from your usual, but yes, it does look good on you!"
"Anyway, I wanted to drag you to the buffet. They're serving your favorite!" Your eyes immediately brightened (and in the back of your head, you're flustered at the fact he knows your favorite. He knows your favorite and not his own genmate's favorite, which is insane), and you let him drag you to the table of foods.
A charcuterie board is well-decorated in the table, with various cheeses, hams, and the occasional fruits and crackers. There's ribs, oysters, pastas, and your favorite dish in a rectangle container. There's even a gluten-free pasta and soy-free alternatives.
"Wait? Is that what the favorite food survey was all about??" You asked, taking heaps of your favorite dish into your plate. "This is amazing. Holy shit!"
Vanta replied, almost more excited than you, "Right?! They really outdone themselves this year!" You miss the gaze Vanta gives you, warm and adoring, the kind of gaze where he's eyes, usually hardened by heroic duties, soften at your presence, and his smile comes in subconsciously, like it was second nature for him to admire you. In your excitement, you don't even notice the fact that Zali and Wilson are laughing at Vanta's 'downbaddery'.
Now came the event of the season. You, for very valid reasons can't settle for just Umeshu and a kiss. No matter how financially easy his wish was, you wanted to at least spend on a more thoughtful gift. Luckily, you've got your hands on a Sodarizer, a lovely kitchen tool that could carbonate liquids. With his love for the drink, you've thought of giving him something to elevate his experience, thus with a little bit of research, and a lovely visit to your online wallet, you're set for life.
Everyone gives their gifts in a domino effect; Elira gifting one of your genmates an airfryer, your genmate gifting Zeal a glucose indicator, Zeal gifting a whole bartending equipment to Luca, and so forth. Everyone seems pleased with their gift, even as Enna comes to you, giving you the item you've always wanted in your wishlist. You're over the moon, but also very nervous. You held a can of umeshu on your left, and had your genmates hide the sodarizer box behind his back.
"Here's your can of umeshu and..." you muttered, taking a deep breath before giving him a kiss on the cheek. The room gasped, and you could hear some of your friends scream. Vanta is dazed, heavily so, that his cheeks bloom red, and he can't help but look away.
"What are the odds that would happen?" Claude whispers.
"You dared him to keep that wishlist in one day, and didn't think they'd see it?" Wilson replied, the same hushed whisper. "Well, duh! I just didn't do anything because someone told us who Vanta's secret santa is!"
"O-oh! Oh... wait you surprised me!" Vanta said in a fit of shy laughs and stutters. "I didn't think you'd actually do it... I mean, I thought it was gonna be for shits and giggles, but..." Vanta puts his face on his hands.
"That's not my only gift, by the way." You point behind him, and he does exactly that.
"A SODARIZER OH MY GOD!" His eyes wrinkle in excitement. "How did you know I've always wanted this!" He asks you with wide eyes. "I had a feeling you'd want one, so I bought one." You shrugged, and asked, "Plus, why would you write a can of umeshu and a kiss? That's awfully not that much of a wish, now is it?" Vanta scrambled to explain himself, "They dared me to keep it like that for a whole day, and I just completely forgot that was written!" He points to a snickering Claude, and you turn away, laughing despite the redness of your face. The event continues as it is, and you find yourself coming back to Vanta after gift giving.
"You're insane for that, by the way, but also, how embarrassing would it be if it wasn't me?" You tease, poking on his chest.
"My secret santa being you is already embarrassing as it is considering I like you."
You blink.
"Oh!"
The fact you didn't expect him to say it out of the blue catches you off-guard. "Is that weird to say?" You cough and reply, "No. Not at all." You smile back at the man. "It's just that I didn't expect my crush out of all people to say that out of the blue." You walk away slowly, fighting your reddened cheeks. On the other hand, your genmates, tucked into a corner of the room watched everything with clasped hands, as if they're watching their favorite romance anime.
Vanta obliviously laughs, and trails off before looking at you with wide eyes as if he processed what you just said.
"Hey wait, WHAT?" He immediately runs after you, and you giggle, as the two of you enter the balcony, oblivious to the whispers amongst the music.
In the midst of it all, everyone seemed to watch the two of you leave the room.
"HA! FREE GLIZZY!" Claude exclaims from a corner of the room as Finana grumbles and gives him twenty bucks. "I told you! I told you there was something! I TOLD YOU!" Claude says with a shit-eating grin.
"That's unfair! You knew because you dared Vanta to write that in his wishlist!" Finana retorts with feigned annoyance. "LMAO YOU DID?" One of your genmates snickered. "Yeah! Actually we did it in stream, muted of course," Wilson replied. "You didn't even know who's paired with Vanta," your genmate says, confused. "Oh, that's because a little birdie told me about it." Their eyes lock towards another genmate, much closer to Wilson. They grin mischievously, and chuckled like a gremlin. "Oh... makes sense."
From another table, Kaelix thought very deeply.
"Does that mean I have a mom now?" Kaelix spoke, eyes locked on the door that leads to the balcony. The thought of it makes Zeal, Vox, and Maria laugh.
"Your mom is our kouhai? That's a fucked up family tree if I've seen one," Vox replied to the conversation.
"Our ship is sailing. Good job!" Elira snickers, watching the two of you interact. "I knew (name) had a crush on Vanta and no one believed me," Luca sulked. Elira and Shu laughed at the mafia. "That's because (name) is so good at acting."
"And Vanta's obliviousness makes it look like nothing's happening at all," Elira added.
"Don't worry, sir Luca! I believed you!" Klara replies with a smile.
"Yes, but if you look at the signs, you'd be able to see it, Shu."
"We get it Luca, you know more about romance than us," Elira replied with a teasing grin as Luca pouted.
The night ends with a new couple in Nijitown, spending their night learning more about each other in the midst of the year-end party.
The sound of chirping birds was the first thing you hear, and his breathing second.
──── ୨୧ ────
The sound of chirping birds was the first thing you hear; a telltale sign of the sol, kissing the heads of trees and rooftops. It greets you with a kiss, just as the succulent sweet dream fades after wishing you a great day, and you find yourself yearning for the latter. You open your eyes, and you notice the warmth, holding you close to his chest like a dragon to his hoard. His scent welcomes you, surrounded by soft citrus and floral wisps in a land of patchouli, just as you huddle closer to hear the thumps of his heart.
His soft breathing, his lulling heart, and his firm arms forbid you from starting your day too easily.
Then, you hear his heart pick up pace, and his hand, cradling the back of your head. A soft sigh escape his lips, holding you even closer to his own body. All it takes for your eyes to meet is a sweet kiss on your head, surpassing the sugarcoated dreams that walked with you tonight. Your eyes meet his lilac ones, softened with the sight of his lover, staring back at him with the same gaze. His hair tickles your face, and you move your hand to tuck pieces of his blond hair behind his ear. In return, he places his arm over yours, caressing your knuckles with his thumb like it's second nature.
"Good morning." His voice, husky in the dawn, holds the hands of slumber so loosely.
"Morning," you reply, oh so tiredly.
He grasps your hand, encaging it with his own. His hands has always been bigger than yours, warm and inviting, like a cozy cabin in the winter.
"How's your sleep? You slept pretty early last night." You tell him about your lovely dream of climbing the corporate ladder, and cussing out that one co-worker you cannot stand, before coming home to the inviting scent of baby back ribs and barbecue.
He chuckles. "No wonder you've been drooling on me."
Your cheeks turn pink, and you pout, eyes gazing on anything but his teasing face. He laughs, like a man in a one-month vacation.
A free skylark, this man, and to think that this man was Luca Kaneshiro, your husband above all things, and a threat below that line. A sheep in wolf clothing, that sheds its disguise in your arms.
He preps his elbow on the pillow, hand supporting his head. "What do you wanna eat? We could- we could make egg-fried rice, and-and- how about fried oreos, and pancakes?
You shake your head with a sigh. "You're already craving sweets, and it's like- what, eight in the morning."
"Egg-fried rice isn't sweet," he jests, sweet laughter hanging in the air. You roll your eyes before reaching to peck his cheek. Before he could react, you sat up, looking back at him with admiring eyes. This man, your man, caressed by the rays of the sun and rainbow specks of light from the suncatchers of your window sill, has a beauty unrivaled.
"You're so beautiful." You hear him whisper with unfocused eyes.
Dazed. Awed. Mesmerized.
Your cheeks bloom pink, and your heart flutters with his words. "Let's make breakfast. I'm starving."
Busting out a Bluetooth speaker, you place in a lovely little playlist to start your day. By the stove, Luca cracks an egg into a pan of leftover rice from last night, and tosses the rice like second nature. On another pan, a few slices of spam sat flat. On another part of the room, you tinker with your two-year old espresso machine, gifted by the man himself on the day of your wedding. The whiff of coffee dances with the smell of breakfast; a true morning experience.
But of course, you couldn't help but look back to your cooking husband, who sported a lovely apron. Who knew men in apron were eyecandy?
You leave your station, slithering quietly just behind Luca, and your hands circle his waist, meeting each other right at his stomach. You breathe in his scent, followed by a loving peck on his back. He stiffens just a tiny bit, but his shoulders relax, knowing that it is you. You don't even realize the redness of his ears as you continued to hold him hostage in your arms.
"Smells good," you comment, patting Luca's stomach with a mindless rhythm.
"I smell good?" He asks looking back at you with a smile.
You hum in reply, tightening your arms around him.
Luca turns around so that your head is flushed against his chest, and his arms circle you back, bodies moving back and forth like a waddling penguin.
"I smell good?" Luca repeats, looking at you oh so sweetly. "How? I didn't even- I didn't even put on perfume last night." There was a tone of playfulness in his voice.
"I meant the food," you mumble, and he chuckles, patting your head so sweetly as if you are a plush toy.
"Liar, liar. You sniffed me before you said I smell good." You just nod in response. It was too early for banter, as much as you'd like to reciprocate.
"Babe." You could hear Luca's voice in your ear.
"Mmh."
"I really need to check on our rice."
"No." You hug him tighter, and he laughs, patting your head.
"Babe!" You let him go, laughing with him as you carried both mugs of coffee to your favorite breakfast place, which just so happens to be the garden outside your kitchen. It had a lovely picnic bench, and a pretty garden that you, and sometimes Luca, tend to quite a lot. Herbs sat prettily on the window sill; bougainvillea bushes loom by the walls of the house, and bleeding heart vines crawl on the tall fence. Lovely crops, such as tomatoes and cabbages sat on one part of the garden, and on another corner, a bed of roses with a conversation pit gazebo, all connected by pretty stepping stones on white pebbled pathways.
Luca looked at all the flowers in the garden. "I'm still surprised there's flowers that don't, like, activate my asthma."
You nod, taking a sip of your hot coffee.
"Right? The florist said it's all about the pollen; something about stickiness, and pollen weight."
"Imagine if we had a spring wedding instead and there's like a ton of pollen all in the air," Luca muses, sipping his coffee.
A funny thought enters your mind.
"We'd have an anti-histamine bearer instead of a coinbearer."
Luca almost spits out the coffee at the thought of Lucy holding onto a pack of anti-histamines instead of coins.
"You'd hold like..., an entire pack of inhalers instead of a bouquet." You and Luca double down on the laughter.
Once you steady yourselves, you start eating. You take a bite of Luca's Egg fried rice and closed your eyes in content. A myriad of lovely flavors party in your mouth. From the umami of the seasonings, to the light saltiness of the egg, all cradled by waltzing minced garlic, carrots and green onions, it reminds you somewhat of the Egg fried rice Luca's mom makes.
"Is it good?" Luca asks, eyeing your expressions. In response, you nod vigorously. "So good." You see his eyes brighten, and you swear, the outline of a wagging tail emerged from behind him. "I'm glad. Mom actually gave me some of her recipes, since you liked her cooking a lot." Your eyes twinkle at the thought.
"She's so sweet. I love your mom so much."
"I think ever since you and her had that shopping date, she decided you're her daughter-in-law."
You feel proud of yourself at the thought. It might be since you've heard a lot of stories about in-laws not liking the other spouse, especially from your married friends.
You talk more about different things as you eat, from his agenda for the week to a vague version of what he's dealing with the dark world.
What really piqued Luca's interest amongst the sea of conversation was your "keen eye for looking for his henchmen". After all, they almost always wore a mask, and have identical suits. Surely you wouldn't know who was undercover and who was a regular civilian.
"You know how you'd ask a few Lucubs to go undercover when we dated in the amusement park like a week ago?" Luca nods, biting a piece of Spam.
"I told you I'd be able to figure out who was undercover, and who wasn't, and you said not even you knew who's who." You showed him a picture of a few individuals, all holding a tube of Cheddar Cheese Pringles.
"Oh! You actually got them! Pog!"
You even showed a picture of you and a few of the Lucubs hanging around near the amusement park restroom.
"It wasn't that hard. I've seen them like more than thrice on different locations. I figured they we're all Lucubs."
"You weren't lying when you said you could find them." Luca laughs heartily.
You leaned forward.
"Well, you love Cheddar Cheese Pringles. Of course I keep an eye out for those."
Luca chuckles, and you see a tinge of red on his ears. Your smile returns, albeit more playfully.
"Did I make you blush?" His cheeks turn redder, and you laugh so unhinged in a way that he breaks out to laughter too.
"Oh yeah! Are you- are you free this week?"
You lean forward with a grin. "Are you taking me to a date?"
Luca nods in earnest, and your heart soars with the way he lightly scratches his neck. You reach to ruffle his head, and he chuckles lightheartedly. "You're so sweet to me." He points a fork with Spam on it as if it was a sceptor, and replies, almost dramatically, "You're my wife! Of course I'm going to be sweet to you."
You reply in the most sweet tone you could muster, "And you're my strong, loving and caring husband, whom I love very much."
Your husband blushes, and you hear him mumble, "If you keep talking like that, I-I won't be able to go to work."
In front of all those Sun catchers, sun rays, and specks of light, Luca seems to be the brightest of them.
your heart swells.
"i like you."
it's much more than like, and you know it.
Notes:
remember keep this out of public spaces or ill have to slime u out gen
please enjoy! i need to get back into my pondering seinyan era and stop writing sm smut smh
pls enjoy! i tried to pour my heart into this
your heart swells.
"i like you."
it's much more than like, and you know it.
"i like you."
you think as you listen to Seible's melodious laugh, so infectious it has everyone cracking a smile. the way he tilts to the side and his eyes turn to crescents, similar to the ones in his signature designs. he would just start ijboling and it would infect you within seconds. to hear him be so happy made you just as happy, if not more so. you would lovingly watch his model sway side to side (he could never stay still for more than a moment, you observed fondly), thankful your own model didn't properly convey the lovesick expression on your face.
"i like you."
you think randomly whenever you're in a deep conversation with the promoter over VC. he could simply be telling you how his day went, or how his stream went if he streamed that day. you are so content with just listening him, to the point you picked up on his speech mannerisms. how he would draw out some of his words and drop his voice a bit to demonstrate seriousness; "whaaat? Seinyan, i would never do no such thing…" only to giggle a few seconds later. the twang in his voice whenever he sang. when he enunciated syllables in his sentences, like the "s" in a word (you noticed this in his cover of One Last Kiss, and this you found incredibly endearing).
you are in love. you know it. how could you not love such a bubbly, down to earth, sweet, respectful, humble, responsible, flirtatious…ahem. such a chill guy?
he was always a topic when you chatted with your viewers. you always referenced him, like his "this is not a safe space, this is a safe-ISH space". or his "that's craaaazy" or his "get 'em!" or snicker at the word "balls". you seemed to know quite a bit about Seible. even the Seinyans noticed and nominated you as Seinyan president. much to your embarrassment, because the brunette was aware and made certain to tease you about it here and there. you just really admire him, okay?! god forbid…
and then. you were able to do an off collab with Seible. panicking is an understatement. you could no longer think nor breathe. you couldn't even sleep the night prior due to nervousness and excitement. never had you been so eager to hop on a train before. you were also extremely glad you moved to Japan from the States, so you could be closer to all your wonderful senpai. you constantly checked your appearance, praying to whoever was listening that you didn't look like a chud.
but also also you had to remind yourself that this was a co worker! you could not be this nervous around someone you're working with. but when you were met with those bright eyes and tilted upward smile, you knew you were gone. it was over.
you were falling hard.
you tried to hide it, compartmentalize these developing feelings. shoving them in a box, throwing chains around them, locking it, and tossing the key. but they somehow snaked out anyway, its roots branching out into your little heart. you couldn't control your body's reactions to him when he was near. you couldn't pull away. you didn't want to.
you began to critisize yourself for every little thing. you kept singing the same line of a cover over and over again. pushed yourself for longer streams. stared at yourself in the mirror for hours, trying to see what Seible sees when he looks at you. just a kouhai, a co worker, a stranger, a friend…or something more? he has always been strange and random, and not knowing what he thought about you behind those bangs comforted you and frightened you.
this silent love--you claimed you would be okay with keeping--was eating you alive. bottling it up was no good. but who could really blame you? rejection was awful, and so much was at stake. a friendship so genuine and true. it could be gone in one poorly said sentence.
"i like you."
ridiculous. you are ridiculous. this damned heart of yours too.
so you finally confessed to him under a blooming tree. hope spreading through your bones as you gazed at him, heart pounding in your ears. face so hot it could melt ice. hands somehow clammy and sweaty at the same time? a true feat. you rehearsed the speech in your head the entire time, using the "hangout" idea as a cover and time to lock in.
a whole speech. the draft was three pages long. you were able to cut it to two.
and yet, all you could say was when you opened your dumb mouth:
"i like you." eyes forward. ears pink. fists clenched.
silence.
your heart began to sink.
you looked at him finally.
he wasn't looking at you, but away.
your heart fell to your toes.
you were wrong, weren't you…?
your mind was unnaturally silent. until it suddenly burst into panic. you said not a word. you got up. and ran away. to where? you didn't know. you just wanted to get away. you sprinted through the streets, crying filling your eyes before they spilled over. a choked cry. your skin went cold.
he didn't like you. didn't love you.
but you swore, the signs were there! shared gazes a bit too long. fingers brushing often. his voice would soften around you. he would protect you in games and always made sure you were included. hey, maybe you got too delusional and mistakened love rather than friendship. what an idiot you were!
and wow, what timing! you felt it in the air, when the back of your neck felt so damp and how there was no breeze. suddenly, it's pouring. what timing! make up running down your face in rivulets, outfit crinkled and clinging to you like a second skin. running towards wherever. you must've looked like a freak.
you finally stopped in a middle of what appears to be a park. the path softened under your footing and the soft rain. you heaved for breath, deciding to plop yourself down onto the wooden bench beside you. the lamposts glow faintly, in time with your heartbeat. you had let the rain carve paths down your face.
but the thing was…the rain was warm. it wasn't cold as usual. you blinked away the water (perhaps not only water) clustered onto your eyelashes and peered up at the sky. its rain drops traced your cheeks, almost in a comforting caress. you closed your eyes, breathing in the earthy wet smell and listening to the plip plop of rain hitting the ground.
focused on your senses rather than your emotions for the time being, you begun to feel yourself calm done. it wasn't the end of the world. yeah, maybe you just ruined something precious between you and the promoter. doesn't mean it can't be fixed! maybeit can be fixed by you quitting the company and--
a pair of shiny shoes spawned before you. you hadn't realized your head dropped, face towards the floor and eyes staring into the unknown. you dragged your eyes up slowly, up the white dress pants and black dress shirt and collar and…
"Seible?" you murmured, eyebrows drawn together.
he breathed heavily, eyes fixed on yours. "why did you run?"
you quickly avoided his gaze. "i put you in a difficult position. it wasn't fair to you. and i probably just…screwed what we had up because i got selfish." you watched a drop wind down your wrist.
"what?! no, you could never!" Seible exclaimed sharply, startling you. you gazed up at him with wide eyes. "i looked away because…"
a gloved hand climbed the air to his mouth as he attempted to silence his nervous giggles. a bright flush spread across his features, eye darting from yours a second out of shyness. he pushed his bangs away from obstructing his view of you in the rain.
"i was so happy to hear it in real life instead of in my dreams. because i really like you!"
he bent himself down, arms slithering around to embrace you. you could feel his skin through his soaked clothes, bringing heat to your face. no doubt he could feel yours. you hid your face in his shoulder, hardly believing what was happening. it took a minute before it clicked in.
"you like me?" voice so small. "back? this isn't a dream?"
"yes, i like you back." Seible pulled away a few inches, brushing your hair back from being plastered across your face. his soft puffs fanned your face. "no, this isn't a dream. and I'll show you." a wink.
all your anxiety and impending depression vanished due to those words alone. your body relaxed without you realizing it was so taut. you closed your eyes briefly, before they shot open at the sensation of someone cupping your cheeks. your lips parted a moment, breath stolen away from his unwavering gaze on yours. you could notice the purple specks in his irises, and how they sparkled like stars in the night sky. his lips were pink and nicely shaped, clearly taken care of well. his skin shone with the water, dribbling down his face, over his lips and down his neck to travel under his open collar. his tie is now uncharacteristically messy, and his collar bones are in sight. you swallowed, eyes fluttering.
"eyes up here, sweetheart," Seible whispered, canting his face towards you. you stayed still, eyes wide. he studied your features carefully. "may i kiss you?"
you opened your mouth to reply but whatever came out of it was a garbled mess. you opted to nod rapidly after a quick brain circuit fizzed out. your heart shook in your chest. it was finally happening, after all these years of pining and supporting and caring and admiring and--
soft against yours. light. giving you the opportunity to pull away. Seible's lips trembled a bit, perhaps from nervousness. your heart pitter pattered in your chest from his shyness, and you had to assure him you wanted this. you deepened the kiss, slotting your mouth against his perfectly. it was like two puzzle pieces that finally found each other after so much time. your arms found their home around his neck, bringing him down slightly to your level.
both separated, but not too far. one taste was enough to get you hooked forever. you batted your eyes at him under the now drizzle of rain, the warmth enveloping you two. Seible smiled so wide, you could see his puppy ears and tail pop up.
"can we do that again?" Seible asked, rubbing his nose against yours.
you giggled at the tickling sensation. "you don't even have to ask."
another shared kiss, under the warmth of the rain.
"i love you."
his eyes turned to crescents. "i love you too. ever since i met you."
you blushed, turning to the side. secretly, you thanked the rain.
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