I don't know where to start. People think I'm good at words, that I'm articulate, but when it comes to things like this? I get caught up in emotions and struggle to form sentences that I can feel on the tip of my tongue.

I never got over Shane. There was just something so different about our connection that I couldn't let go. Being his best friend was the closest we both agreed on me being when he broke up with me, more so because there was something that wasn't making our relationship as strong as it should have been. We were both scared. Scared to mess up something so special, so genuine and breathtaking that breaking up was the best way forward. It broke my heart. I didn't sleep for weeks, wondering why it had ended that way, wondering why I wasn't good enough.

But Shane allowed me to stay in his life when exes would usually turn blind eyes to each other. Through that, our bond grew stronger. Low-key flirting and touching before and during his relationship with Ryland, but I didn't know at that point that he was still into me. I was merely doing it as a joke. (Perhaps I was also doing it because I was jealous of Ryland and could see through his façade. I think at one point he knew that.)

Shane and I started talking again, properly. He told me about his breakup with Ryland and we shared a night together that was far different than anything we've ever done before. We were just two guys who were lonely and missed each other. Two guys who realised what they had lost and now what they could get back. I didn't wait long to ask him to be mine, a couple days of intimacy and spending time together, healing up wounds from previous battle scars. He said yes.

So now I want everyone to know that Shane and I are dating. We didn't want to keep any secrets whatsoever. We didn't also want to rub this in people's faces but I wanted to write a post about what went down so people weren't curious. So yeah. I love him a lot. He makes my heart happy.