chill

And I would hope that you’re buying me a drink too as a thank you, so that’ll be three drinks for you and one for me.

If I say no, will you not give me twenty dollars?

I feel like you’re gonna stalk me or some shit. I’m getting creepy vibes.

I was just joking. I have better things to do than stalk you.

But I got nothin’ to hide.

We’ll see about that.

That’s how I used to be, then I had Masey and the world kind of just stopped and everything was perfect and I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

And I see she made you a corny person as well. I don’t want kids, ever. I don’t even want to think about it right now. There is no way I’m letting some douche get me pregnant and then I have to push a bowling ball out, no thanks.

I love having kids. They’re the best. I can if I can get someone to watch them.

I don’t have patience for kids. If I was ever pregnant, the minute I found out I would probably evaporate into thin air.

I’ll try, babe. I really will. I’ll give you about twenty bucks out of a million just for you to remember me by.

I won’t even complain because that’s enough to buy me 4 drinks at Starbucks.

Nah, you won’t.

I will, you don’t know me. I’ve got my ways.

I’m so ready to fucking win at life with these slot machines. I’m quite determined that I’m going to hit the jackpot, guys. This is happening tonight–or at least one of these nights.

Good luck to you then. If you do win, always remember me.

Nope. My shit is right where it should be.

And now you’re just lying to my face. I’ll find out the truth one of these days.

I’m in Vegas with a newborn and an almost two year old. At least we’re stopped at the most kid-friendly place in town.

The struggles of having kids. Can you even go out and have a good time with them here?

I don’t think you do.

I bet you’re the one that doesn’t have their shit together.

Get your shit together, girl.

Rude! I do have my shit together.