certified idiot

i slep

😎 ranch doritos >

i hate myself lmaos

i should probably just disappear

i’m annoying

poof seems so nice rn but ik i shouldn’t do that

on my 5th monster let’s gooo

ugh i need something to do i’m actually so bored rn

I honestly dont even know what the fuck is wrong with me lmao. i just seriously need to get out everything thats going on so anyways. lately everything has been so weird. like sometimes i dont even remember if i have eaten or showered or sometimes even slept. i literally dont know what is real. I’ve been feeling more unreal than i have ever and it fucking scares me because i dont know if im accidentally starving myself or anything at that. im so tired all of the time too but the nightmares have been so much worse and more graphic and real-like that im so terrified of even closing my eyes. everything has been so much too. like the other day, everything seemed louder than i knew it should have been and i was feeling so overwhelmed because the noise from the tv was so loud, and on top of that my mother was talking in the phone, and i could hear my brothers typing on the keyboard and also talking/ yelling and i started panicking for no fucking reason but it was just too much. i know tonight i am definitely not going to sleep an ounce. I’ve already taken multiple pills that keep me awake and have so much caffeine on hand. i just dont feel good and dont feeel like dealing wiht nightmares tonight. oh an on top of that im spaicng out agaiin lmoa ill be ofaky 

it feels like i’m fucking drowning and either it’s really quiet in mynhousd or i can’t hear

i hate myself so much. i’m so fucked up omg like i literally don’t even know what’s real anymore. everything’s just this huge blur and i literally can’t tell you whether i have showered today or not. or anything at that