My story; My mind; My RECOVERY

Hi there, I'm Hayley, from a little town in England called Chorley and this blog is a little something to help other sufferers of mental health illnesses. I have been diagnosed with Anorexia nervosa, Psychosis, Borderline personality disorder, depression, anxiety, addiction (to painkillers), self harm and low self esteem...thats just what i can remember off the top of my head! So its safe to say I've I struggled to find the right mental health service for me! I apologise for this blog being based on anorexia but it was by far the hardest one to recover from! Back in 2012 I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa after my care co-ordinator (for Psychosis) noticed a change in my weight and also my behaviour regarding food restriction and weight loss. Within 3 months of being diagnosed, I was close to being admitted onto an inpatient unit as my blood pressure was too low, I had started self harming and I had had 2 seizures as my body was struggling to cope with what I was doing to it. I guess no body can cope with 100 calories a day intake and swimming a mile everyday to make sure the intake of calories by night time was a minus number (if the number went a minus, anorexia told me I wasn't losing any weight!) Within 6 months of being diagnosed I weighed 6st 3lb (my lowest). My highest weight was 8st and I'm 5ft 6 so even then I was still tiny but oh no, not for anorexia...I was hugeee...so I restricted and exercised until I reached my goal weight (6st 3lb) but in the meantime any damage I was doing, I didn't care, I just needed to be at my goal weight asap. Instead of being happy that I had reached my goal weight I was distraught as that is when I can honestly say I realised and accepted that I had a problem as I still wanted the number on the scale to show lower. It was at this time I attempted suicide and ended up in hospital. I had taken a ridiculous amount of painkillers mixed with presrcibed sedatives, half a bottle of wine and oh...a bottle of vodka! Needless to say I am one very lucky girl to still be here! (and oh boy I am glad to still be here!). After I came out of hospital and started to engage with therapy I slowly started to recover from this illness and got my life back on track. I met my amazing boyfriend when I weighed my lowest and through his support and of course everyone else (friends, family, therapists etc), I can write today that I am recovered from anorexia!