Im Trying Here!!!

She has these big, expressive eyes that lock in on me like she really sees me, and it does something to me every time. I don’t feel like I have to chase her or play games. I’ve been intentional about how I move with her—taking my time, making sure I’m balanced, but still leaning in when it feels right.

We’ve got something planned for the weekend for the first weekend in May just us, no distractions— she’s gonna spend the entire weekend with me Friday through Sunday and when and when I talk to her later this week, I might tell her to just pack her work clothes and go to work, cause it’s closer to my home. I’m honestly excited in a way I haven’t been in a long time… for the connection, the intimacy, the chance to really be in each other’s space with intention. She’s not mine (yet), but I feel good about where it’s headed.

Some moments, I miss what was. Other moments, I appreciate what is. And in between all of that, I’ve been outside a little. I’ve reconnected with some people, gotten closer to others, and kept a few options open.

There’s someone I’ve been hanging out with who brings a fun, competitive energy—slow and steady, but I’m letting it be what it is. Another person and I have plans for a little movie night soon—nothing set in stone beyond that, but we always have a good time together. Then there was someone else who made some choices that had me take a step back. That’s all I’ll say on that.

And then there’s the one that still lingers. The one I haven’t fully let go of, even though I probably should. But I know I can’t keep rereading the same chapter, so I’m figuring that out in my own time.

What I do know is that I still believe in love, but more importantly, I believe in love that chooses me. I don’t want to fight for something that should be flowing. I don’t want to settle for what’s easy just because it’s there. I want something real, something intentional, something that doesn’t leave me questioning where I stand.

It’s gonna be a much needed conversation. It will bring us even closer together. Our communication skills are too good for it not too workout.