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date story, cookies, unhinged compliment from uncle's gf

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this is just a placeholder post to expand later on
date story, cookies, unhinged compliment from uncle's gf

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Twitter didn’t like this but I think I look good so
Not that I expect there to be much interest in my weight loss posts, but it's interesting to see how little traction my posts have now given that I still have about 2500 followers
I was inactive for a long time and Tumblr has really died off, but it's still strange
Woke up this morning under the weight goal I had set for myself to reach by July 31st by half a pound
Kinda want to treat myself to 14 donuts as a reward
I really needed to see that for my mental. I've been obsessing the last few days about saying fuck it and just bumping my calories up to 3000 per day again like I did last summer so I can actually perform in the gym again and put a temporary hold on this diet fatigue, but this gave me the push I needed to stick with it for at least the rest of June
We'll see about July. There's a couple things in August where I'm going to see some people I haven't seen in a while so it would be nice to be down another 10-12 pounds, just for the 'wow factor'.
One of them was a hookup opportunity that I had in May with someone.. just miles and miles out of my league for a few reasons, that of course I fucked up because I talked too much and wanted her to feel like she was safe and respected. I think I was trying to overcompensate for my still bad body image because I couldn't believe I had someone like her in my bed and I just overdid it
Turns out that was a turn off and she got the impression that I wanted a relationship (which I do, but circumstances prevent that with her)
I can do as much work on my body as possible, but the mental side seems like it's going to be an even longer process
I’m getting to the point where I can totally understand why people have such a difficult time sticking to diet and exercise if they have a lot of weight to lose
It was pretty easy for me at the start because I did a complete 180 in my habits and weight started coming off pretty quick right away so it was easy to stick to
But after 19 straight months of being in a caloric deficit, saying no to so many things, purposely avoiding certain social gatherings, and complicated the way I approach dating, it’s starting to get exhausting
With that said, I set a goal for myself in October 2022 and while the goal has shifted a few times as my weight has gone down, the one thing that has remained is my dedication to this
As much as it’s sucked at times, the sacrifice has absolutely been worth it because I’ve lost over 120 pounds but at the same time, I’m still kinda fat and it’s getting a little disheartening
I’ve been so consistent and worked so fucking hard on this so to lose 120+ pounds and still be able to grab handfuls of stomach, back, thigh, and love handle fat.. it’s just like.. how much longer do I have to grind this out, you know?
This is what’s getting me to my first statement. It’s not that I’m going to give up, I’ve come way too far to quit now, and I truly love weightlifting and how it makes me feel, but shit man, how much more weight do I have to lose?
I’m currently at the weight that I had set as a “big” goal a while back and thought I was going to look awesome and kinda settle in around this weight so to objectively look at myself and still see at least another 20-30 pounds I want to take off has me feeling, not defeated, but just, I don’t know
On the positive side, while I’m still flabby in areas, I am starting to look kinda good (for me, anyway) especially compared to what I used to look like. That’s honestly night and day. I’d post a before picture but it’s so painful to look at, I don’t want anyone else to see it so any pictures I do end up posting will be somewhere along the journey and current ones
Anyway, I like taking long walks around my neighborhood and to get some steps in so here’s a couple quick hip fire phone pics from my walk today

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Finished off my night after a giant dinner with probably 400 unnecessary calories of chocolate treats
Kinda feel like an asshole for that but I’ve been in a calorie deficit for like 95% of days over the past 19 months so slip ups are going to happen
I’ll be better tomorrow
Did some clothes shopping today to restock my wardrobe for summer since everything I bought last summer is too big now. I stuck to thrift stores and the clearance rack at Kohls’s to try to keep things as cheap as possible for now
I’ve gone from 2XL-3XL down to L in shirts and 40-42 down to 33-35 in pants, depending on brand and style
The immense mental battle that came with clothes shopping I had to endure in the past is completely gone now
Along with that has come a sense of self confidence to be able to look at myself in the mirror and think “you look good” for the first time in my life
To say it’s transformative would be an understatement
(Then I met up with friends and had two dozen wings and a shitload of fries)
Ran into an old buddy today at the gym and he didn’t recognize me when I said hi
Little things like that are such huge wins on this journey
It was a nice addition to hitting a new low weight this morning having dropped a few pounds after stagnating around the same spot for a few weeks
Still averaging 4-6 pounds lost per month and as long as this pace maintains, I’ll hit a pretty notable milestone (and a fun photo op) sometime in August
Just gotta stay focused and consistent and I’ll get there
I’ve been tracking my weight by week and setting realistic end-of-month goals and as of this morning, I’m only two pounds away from where I had wanted to be at the end of July
The accelerated pace is great for both maintaining motivation to keep going, but it also gives me a bit of breathing room to enjoy the summer and not feel like I have to say no when an opportunity comes up that might take me off my diet and routine
I know you shouldn’t seek external sources as a means of self validation, but when you put in an amount work to drastically transform your body to the degree where you went from physical repulsion at your own reflection, to actually starting to feel comfortable in your body for the first time in your life - a simple “you look great” or catching a glance from someone who would have never looked at you previously, means the world.
It’s such a strange feeling to have moments of self awareness where I realize I am carrying myself differently and starting to have a shred of confidence.
I still don’t think many women are noticing me as a ‘desirable man’ as shallow as that may sound, but I’m getting closer to the point where I can start to see it for myself, and that’s probably more important.

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In hindsight I wish I would have done more to document the entire process of going through the significant weight loss that I’ve experienced so far, but all I was focused on was just doing it. I didn’t think about blogging it or making it a social media arc or whatever
Given the success I’ve had with it and the drive I have to keep going, I probably could have gotten a little bit of traction
So now anything I post on here about it will be stuff that’s either outdated or happening currently, which kinda takes a huge chunk out of the whole journey
Not really sure how to approach it
Thinking about using this as a progress journal for getting in shape
I hope you’re doing well and I wish you all the best that life has to offer.
anon why
I'm still annoyed by this. There are only like 3-5 people who would have sent this and the only two who would want to stay anon, wouldn't have sent this
I just realized today after seeing that anon message that the one message I was saving in my inbox for almost 10 years had been purged
I suppose it was time but it still made me sad to see it disappear
I hope you’re doing well and I wish you all the best that life has to offer.
anon why

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I don’t even use this site how am I getting multiple porn bot follows every day
I’m getting too old to keep getting my heart broken