hotwings incorrect quotes

hawks: hey hot stuff, what are you writing there?

dabi: *shows hawks a couple of written pages which contains phrases like: “he snores when he’s laying on his right side” , “do not give him sugar after 10pm” , “if he doesn’t breathe just pour some coffee on him”, “he likes when you scratch him under his left wing” and so on...* i called it “bird, s€x & beauty”

hawks: NO.

dabi: but birdy, this will be great

hawks: NOPE.

dabi: come on! you were the number 2 pro hero! ...do you think they’ll make a movie out of it?

hawks: i hope they FUCKIN’ NOT

dabi: *pretending offended gasp* YOU DON’T WANT YOUR HUSBAND TO BE A FAMOUS WRITER?!

hawks: it’s not...! ughhh i hate you.

dabi: *smirks* you love me

just imagine...

dabi and hawks wanted to record a s€x tape, but it leaked and now it’s everywhere. the commission, the league, now everyone knows that their fave pro hero and high ranked villain f00ked. moreover there’s a moment in the video where keigo screams “touya” - dabi’s real name, and it’s getting even worse (and more funny). and now they’re both f00ked, literally and metaphorically.

please someone write this as a fic, please xDDD

dabi: i knew you are a pigeon but a swan?

hawks: you know... swans mating for their whole live with one partner and they can die from despair if you break their heart

dabi: yeah, and? what does it has to do with you?

hawks: what?! how could you?! everything!

dabi: ????

dabi: *rolling up his sleeves* no problem.

hawks: hey! no! it was just...

dabi: *kisses his knuckles and jumps onto hawks*

hawks: you burnt bitch!!!

dabi: *grabs hawks and kisses him on the forehead*

hawks: *blushing and mumbling* i hate you

hawks: have you ever wondered if there’s another way for you to be saved?

dabi: *exhaling smoke* not really... hero society has failed me. i’ve always been driven by the revenge.

hawks: how is it now?

dabi: what do you mean?

hawks: what drives you now?

dabi: i don’t know, something’s changed *looks in hawks’ eyes* but i can’t really tell what it is yet...

hawks: good mor... what are you doing dabi?!

dabi: wtf is that birdy? most of this food expired over half of a year ago. it’s trash. what do you even eat?

hawks: ...i have coffee

dabi: *looks at hawks over his shoulder* seriously?

hawks: what?

hawks: i’m going with you.

dabi: no. you know how it’s gonna end if you go.

hawks: don’t care. i’m going.

dabi: hah... keigo, please. it’s either me or we’re both going down. and unlike you, i am destined to go down in flames.

hawks: i won’t leave you.

dabi: please, save yourself pretty bird.

hawks: no. i won’t be saved unless i’m free again, and if you wanna set me free, let me burn down with you.

dabi: *sighs and kisses keigo on the forehead* you are tragic to the bone, you know that?

twice: it looks really cute! TOO PINK!

hawks: *in his new hideous gucci shirt* oh, oh, how do you like my top?

twice: *looking at dabi through hawks’ shoulder*

dabi: *shows middle finger on fire*

twice: well, he’s pretty hot. AND MEAN!

toga: *giggles*

touya: so... are you free tomorrow?

keigo: huh?

touya: are you free tomorrow? like for a coffee or something...? now you can’t tell me that you have a patrol tomorrow

keigo: *this realization was stronger than he expected. he was free, actually now he was free more than ever* yes, i am free

keigo: *blushing a little bit* i’d love to go for a coffee with you touya

touya: really?! i mean... that’s wonderful. so.. at 5?

keigo: *smiling* sure

*bonus*

*the following day touya is going off for a coffee with keigo*

rei: hey, where are you going touya?

touya: i’m going for a coffee with hawks

suddenly all todorokis from nowhere: HAWKS?!