i’m all for the angst potential of Dick Grayson being the one kid that Bruce never legally adopted and rather just kept as a ward and that causing insecurities for Dick, but at the moment all i can think about is how much funnier it would be if it was the complete other way round regarding who felt rejected about the whole thing. Tim and Damian find out Dick isn’t a legal adoptee of Bruce Wayne and rally to ‘have their brother’s back’ and go to confront Bruce on the matter, and Jason’s next to him when it happens and he starts crying laughing while Bruce just gets a really uncomfortable look on his face.
Jason, losing his mind: you think- you think BRUCE excluded DICK?! no no no bubba, it’s the other way around,
Bruce: *looking at the ground intently*
Damian: i don’t understand. why did Father not adopt Grayson then?
Jason, genuinely struggling to breathe: he- he tried- *high pitched, now on his hands and knees on the floor to wheeze* Dick- god this is my favourite story ever- Dick didn’t want him-
Bruce, blushing slightly: it wasn’t that he didn’t want me, we were just in different places in the relationship,
Jason: he- he asked Dick if he wanted to be adopted, and Dick looked him right in the fucking eyes and went ‘nah, thanks.’ and walked away,
Damian: …are you being serious?
Bruce: he didn’t want anybody to take a legal role that could replace his parents, which is fully understandable and i respect it completely; he’s my child regardless of the legal specifics,
Jason: *dry heaving on the floor*
Bruce: …though it did sting a little bit when i told him ‘you know in my heart you are my son, right?’ and he looked at me and said ‘yeah.’ and nothing else.
Bruce, starting to get slightly indignant: …-it’s also just slightly awkward whenever people come up to me and bring it up- all ‘why don’t you adopt Dick, don’t you want to?’ and then they list off all the benefits of legally adopting him and i have to stand there staring at them thinking ‘yeah i fucking agree.’
Tim: i’m starting to think we’ve struck a nerve here,
Bruce: -you know i really poured my heart into that ‘i want to adopt you’ speech—had a powerpoint and everything, told him i loved him, basically got down on one knee with the contract. and this little shit stared me in the face wearing my fucking hand-me-downs, and was like ‘i think we should just be friends’ like how in the hell-
Jason, weakly from the floor: god i’m- please, i’m in pain,
Tim and Damian: *awkwardly watching Bruce rant while Jason cries on the floor next to him*
Damian: this may have been a mistake-
Tim: does this mean that Jason being adopted was basically just Dick breaking up with Bruce and Bruce being so heartbroken that he went and rebounded with the first kid he found on the nearest street corner?
Bruce: WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THAT?
Jason: *starts laughing even louder*
