Intricity

I asked myself  Why do u find it so difficult to write non fiction? And I think,or at least my first thoughts are that:  Because I Am shocked that this is reality, while some of what I write is fantasy in the spectacle of that which cannot be, I don’t actually exist in the knowing of this fact.  How do I know what can and cannot be? I only know what I have experienced and even in this I must…

I don’t know why I keep thinking today about my moms ex husband. After they separated he called me up. I was living in New York at the time and had no inclination that he was even going to call me or anything… we didn’t like each other ya know ? Here’s an example from some years before of what our relationship was like up to that point. He worked for an airline so we got free flights. Once he…

Tired I try my best to push through but it’s an immense work to smile for the world so I can have something. I’m tired of trying to be something I just want to excuse I’m tired of trying to exist I’m tired of watching people slip and disintegrate into fated connections I guess I don’t even want to try to make this a poem Why can’t I stop a genocide? Why can’t I make affordable housing for…

To sleep with different lips on my reminisce finally I thought that your touch would be all I could crave forever The way you looked at me with such love I thought would quench my open wounded vessel and yet I’m finally wishing for another’s kiss Another’s touch Another’s love And yet it aches to let you go as you push me. It throttles my soul to release when you’ve already let go And I…

They say today, that we’ll vote better tomorrow Well choose someone who won’t bring such sorrow And as the debate on which candidate will scrape less at our consciousness , another ten children die. I lie awake asking why is genocide happening before our eyes and we still lie about the efficacy of these systems They Made doctrines saying never again and then My friend.. they did it…

Maybe a martyred child is a relief in a besieged state No longer wondering at what will become of their fate Knowing what’s at stake , peace never found a place until Allah took his child back into their rightful grace I Can’t find a joy in genocide But I tried And This Is all I could find. By Ama Rose. 11/8/23

I don’t want to hang out with anxiety anymore In every hallway and behind every door There you are. Waiting. A grin skating across your chin as it dimples with glee You know me, so well You drown me in the past and suffocate me in the future and here I stand Ghostly and waiting for you to come again Because who Am I again and again without my friend She asks Who are you, do you…

The last hit to my heart left me dark. Cold. The echoes of the heart I lost chased it’s tail while the water dripped it’s melody to the crowds of delusion. Once again I said I’ve cracked my chest for you and it’s only because I didn’t realize you were holding an axe I mistook it for a gift and now I scream and scream again from deep dark down.. That safe place to land was quick sand Above,…

Could you Rip my chest in two And not even notice. ? -🌹

I have a choking feeling evoking inside my chest Screaming unrest and testifying my digress I got a weight on my heart.. Giving into the life I sought I called bullshit Thought that blood defined loving divine Only to find That the misjudged first do in themselves And my soul vs hell became this story I’ll tell. 22 years old, and I’ve been raped twice. My soul was taken capture and it became a…

picture this It was you and I laying on the beach one night when I told you that you could be my favorite plight I would fight for you inside the destinies inside the cosmos and you? would be the favorite sand inside my favorite waterseed jam. I dont know what you had as a plan but I plan to astound you with sentences that made no sense so that you come back confounded because you thought that…

Can’t hope to get better anymore It’s ruining my life. Wanting to be better And then others want that for me too and Then I become a fool To their hopes their fears And ideas like I haven’t assessed each one, in detail each night as the tears run. They break because I’m broken and now I’m trying To put you back together Maybe, it would have been better To keep my broken ass inside. I…

All this time Making everyone comfortable By hiding my discomfort And to what end I feel. So fucking lonely rn

Do you know what it’s like To no longer be suicidal to want to live and to find that now, When you can finally breathe again, The world just keeps pushing you to the end. Asking with a lilt that skates on the frayed edges of your last hope Why haven’t you jumped yet? For what else could I assume when you exhume the same records as the last guy You glance my way and then look Away A…

I find comfort in writing philosophy. Tucking my head under waves of thought brought a warmth and validity to my solitude Well but of course I can’t be understood I seemed to be saying In every day In every way Still I write in code words now. Looking for a place to hide inside my own choice of expression and The blessing Or the lesson in this is that I want to be… Less pre fixed More…